Letters Of Apologies ➳ (jenlisa)

Chapter 1

Lisa's P.O.V.

I don't see a point to school anymore. 17 months ago i was rushed to the hospital from my schools softball field. everyone thought is was just a panic attack, I could hear the worried cries coming from my teammates and the crowd was silent when the sirens of the ambulance could be heard from the school parking lot.

l kept hearing the constant "its going to be okay" or "you're going to be fine" as i got carried into the ambulance. Until i reached the hospital i believed it, or at least i tried to. I wanted it to just be a panic attack or for them to diagnose me with something more common like asthma and that was the reason I has to be rushed to the hospital, but instead they diagnosed me with a disease that would kill me in 3 years.

I pushed everyone away that i was close with because how i see it, the less people that are close to me and love me the less people that have to get hurt when i die.

Rumors spread around like wild fire once i cut everyone off. Now I'm just the girl who will act like you don't exist if you talk to her, or the bitchy girl that everyone should avoid. I don't mind it though if I'm being honest. No one knows my story, or the reason I pushed everyone away, so at least this way no one can get emotionally hurt when I die.

-

I hear a loud noise coming from my room waking me up from my sleep, i squint my eyes looking at the door realizing my door had been opened by my mom. I look up seeing her hover over me. "Lisa you have to get ready for school , you have 30 minutes"

"What's the point mom, its not like its going to matter anyways" I argue to her, "Don't say that, now get up" She says angrily. Ever since we found out I wasn't going to live for more than 3 years she has been angry towards me. I think she has a harder time accepting it than I do, which is ironic since I'm the one who's going to die.

I watch my mom close the door before i get up. I walk to my closet and stare at it for a few minutes before grabbing my favorite yellow shirt and black jeans, quickly getting dressed.

I grab my phone feeling it vibrate in my back pocket.

New message from 'Chae'

"Hey, i know we haven't talked in a while but I was just wondering if you were going to join the softball team this year?"

I sigh looking at the first part of her message, pushing her out was the hardest thing I had to do, she was my bestfiend for so long.

"Oh, no. I don't care" I text her back lying. All of me wants to go back to playing softball and being friends with her but I cant do that. I have to just let her move on from me so she cant be hurt.

"Oh....Well um, if you change your mind tryouts start February 28th"

I leave her on read and grab my headphones from my desk, picking my favorite album to listen to. My Music playlists consist of like 10 million kpop songs and some fifth harmony songs. Lately though I play girls generation like its my religion. I have never had a favorite group, since my taste in music is always changing.

I put on my pair of Adidas shoes and throw my book bag over my shoulders and make my way downstairs. I see my older sister sitting at the table. I grab a banana and start heading out the door deciding to dodge any conversation.

"Lisa you need to eat" I hear my mom call out. I wave the banana over my head and walk out the front door knowing I'll get in trouble for that later.

I grab my bike from the side of the house and start riding it down the sidewalk. I would take the bus but since I pushed everyone away its not exactly like anyone is going to sit with me or let me sit with them, that and my house is not that far from the school so it works out pretty good.