This feeling... It really irks me.
Why do I keep on thinking of you?
It really saddens me, knowing that I'm just a mere friend of yours.
You've been together for almost 2 years, and you know what,
I've been deeply admiring you from afar for the same amount of years.
Ever since I laid my eyes upon you, I don't know but, I can't seem to drift you off my mind; it's quite hard.
And the fact that I can only see you 3-4 times a month really saddens me. Ugh, I'm practically crying like hell right now while writing this entry.
This feeling suddenly creeps in my body whenever I see you smiling or laughing. I don't know what exactly this is, but I'm afraid to know it.
Another feeling settles upon me whenever I witness you being together. Heck, don't tell me this is jealousy, because if you do, I'd rather keep myself from feeling it to avoid having such feelings like you know... Um... Love.
Am I crazy? Because most of the time, when I close my eyes, I envision you smiling and laughing.
I badly want to see you now. Gosh, I think I really am crazy.
To be honest, I have hopes that you will see me, not as a friend, but as a lady myself. I have hopes that sooner the feelings you have for her will fade away. I have hopes that you will notice how I look you.
However, despite all of these, I'm somehow thankful because we're friends. In that way, I have every opportunity to reach out to you.
I take all your friendly gestures with a thought that you like me too. I always assume─I admit that. On the contrary, I hate this kind of action because I know I will end up hurting myself, to think that you will never like me since you are loyal to her, like really.
That's all. Someday, I will confess what I feel towards you. I hope it wouldn't be too late.
