◇ First Love Diaries ◆ A BTS FanFic ◇

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◇ 01 ◆ A New Start ◇

I still remember it clearly. That very day where everything started crumbling underneath my feet...

Every exact words, every pain, every tears... I remember it all.

Today is the day I'm leaving it all behind me, but the memories I will keep to remind me that I've stayed strong.

... That day.... It was the day I confessed... To my first love.

~

"I... I-I love you!"

Finally. After all the wait, I said what I've been meaning to tell him the moment I realized that I've fallen in love with him.

I was just too much of a coward back then, thinking he may never see me as someone beyond more than just a friend. I was afraid that if I told him the truth, I'd be thrown away for good.

My eyes were filled with determination, but my body can't seem to stop shaking. Of course I was still afraid.

But maybe, just maybe.... He'd accept my confession.

He looked straight into my eyes. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but he can't seem to look away from me. Is it a sign...?

It's like he's deep in thought right now, maybe even hesitating. I've waited for this moment for so long, and yet now that we're here... It isn't how I imagined it.

"H-Hey.... I-It's fine if you don't want to answer me now... I can wait."

My voice was shaking so hard, I felt so stupid. But then, he finally opened his mouth. My eyes were set on him and nothing else.

"(Y/n)...."

His voice was a mixture of feelings. I can see it in his eyes now.... The feeling of sadness and pure sorrow.

"I.... I'm sorry...."

There it is. At that very moment, my heart just shattered into tiny pieces. I can already tell what will happen next...

"But... I'm afraid.. I-I can't a-accept your c-confession."

His voice was shaking, a tear rolling down his cheek.

I knew it. I knew this was going to happen. I just wasn't listening and kept insisting that maybe even just a little bit, he'd think of me as a woman and not the little sister he always thought of me....

"O-Oh."

It was silent. It felt like we've been standing here for hours. He was about to move forward, but I moved back. Tears are starting to form in my eyes and I tried holding it in.

"(Y/n), I--"

"It's okay."

I didn't want to hear another sorry. I couldn't take it anymore... It hurts so bad.

"I-I'm fine.... I-I just.... I need to go... Heh. S-Sorry.... Just... Forget that this ever happened.... Please?"

I turned around without looking back and started running away. Then, that's when I decided to let it out. I let my tears flow away continously as I ran further.

I'm such an idiot! I'm just a total joke!! He deserves better!!!

◇ 02 ◆ Reminiscing On The Past ◇

◇ 03 ◆ Little White Rabbit ◇

◇ 04 ◆ Meanie Pabo ◇

◇ 05 ◆ He Was Her First Heartbreak ◇    

◇ 06 ◆ He Loved Her ◇

07 Swollen