She's Not Me || Lesy

Prologue

~ Two years earlier ~

Leigh-Anne
The tension between us could be cut with a knife. My girlfriend of four years and I were in the dimly lit living room, watching Simpsons and eating ice cream. Neither of us said a word to each other. We pretended like we were alone, like the other one wasn't in the room.

Jesy sat on the floor, refused to sit on the couch with me. I'd been rather mean to her these last three hours, so I kind of understood why she didn't want to be close to me for the time being. I wouldn't want to be close to someone who'd been mean to me, either.

But I had every right to be mean to her, to be a stone-cold bitch. She hadn't been the best girlfriend in a while, she kept secrets from me and changed the topic whenever I asked her what she was hiding. She hid her phone, took it with her wherever she went, and always walked away when her phone rang.

I was sick and tired of being kept in the dark. I wanted to know what was going on with her, who she spoke to. I had my suspicions, though. I'd been lied to and cheated on before, so I recognized the signs. All I wanted was to know if it was happening again.

"Hey, Leigh-Leigh."

Tearing my gaze from the TV-screen, I aimed my eyes at Jesy. Emotions I couldn't quite read swirled in her breathtakingly beautiful brown-green eyes. The corners of her mouth pointed down.

The brunette stood up and sat down on the edge of the couch. Reaching out her hand, she grasped mine and gave it a light squeeze. My lips curved into a small smile at the gesture. It'd been a while since last time we held hands.

"Baby, we need to talk. Something clearly isn't right between us. You are not the loving, considerate Leigh-Anne Pinnock that you used to be. You are stone-cold. I barely recognize you, babe" Jesy said softly.

I scoffed. "I can say the same about you."

Yanking my hand from her grip, I crossed my arms across my chest. For a moment I actually thought she would just hold my hand and maybe explain to me why she'd been so goddamn secretive.

The gorgeous brunette's lower lip started trembling as she put her hand on her chest like she'd been hurt. Her eyes became glassy from unshed tears. I could tell I hurt her by yanking my hand from her grip.

"You know what, Leigh-Anne? I'm sick of this. I'm sick and tired of being treated like I've run over Harvey with my car and left him on the street to die!" Jesy yelled as she stood up on her feet, clenching her fists.

"Don't yell at me, Jessica" I said through gritted teeth, standing up as well.

At the mention of her real name, the brunette drew a sharp breath. A crimson colour spread across her face. She dug her nails deeper into the palm of her hands, which resulted in blood dripping from the fresh cuts.

Not wanting her to hurt herself, I took a step forward and attempted to grab ahold of her left hand. She scoffed and took a step back, obviously not wanting me to touch her. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I crossed my arms across my chest.

Jesy and I stared at each other for what felt like hours. Flames were dancing in her eyes. Her chest rose and fell at a dangerously fast pace. She was angry and the best thing to do would be to run away and hide somewhere safe.

Because once she exploded, everything and everyone in her way got affected in one way or another. An angry Jessica Nelson was scarier than the monsters you encountered during an episode of sleep paralysis.

She broke the rather uncomfortable silence by letting out a deep sigh as she ran a bloody hand through her dark brown hair. I felt myself relax a bit. Now when her fists weren't clenched, at least I didn't have to fear she'd snap and hit me.

She wasn't the violent type. She had never laid a finger on me during our four years together, but when she got this angry, there was a small risk she actually would lose her cool completely and hit me.

"Leigh, can you tell me what this is all about? Can you tell me why you treat me the way you do? Why we are fighting? I really want to know. And please, don't lie to me" Jesy spoke calmly.

I scoffed. If anyone, she was the absolute last person to beg someone else to not lie. She'd been lying to me for almost a month now. And I bet she'd lied to other people as well. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she had.

"Well, if you didn't keep secrets from me, hide your phone and walk away whenever someone calls, we wouldn't be in this position. I'd never treat you this way either. But you've given me no choice, Jesy" I said coldly.

"I've given you no choice?" She spat. "What do you mean by that?"

"After what Jordan did to me way before I met you, what do you think I'm hinting at? Huh? What do you think I think you're up to?"

The brunette looked like a question mark. She knitted her eyebrows together in confusion, opened her mouth to speak but closed it again after no words came out.

"For the love of God!" I exclaimed frustratedly. "Are you cheating on me?!"

"What?!"

She looked like I had pulled out a gun and shot her. A ton of emotions swirled in her eyes. The look on her face clearly showed I said something hurtful. But I honestly didn't care. I was hurt too!

Biting her lower lip, Jesy took a step forward. She reached out her bloody hands, attempted to grab ahold of mine. I backed away, couldn't stand being touched by her right now. A hurt "oh" slipped from her lips as her arms fell to the sides.

"Leigh-Anne, you can't possibly think I would do such a thing to you. I would never go behind your back, baby. Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to your partner and I...and I could never do that to you. I...I love you. And only you. You have my heart."

With tears rolling down her cheeks, the brunette brushed hair from my face and tucked it behind my ears. Flashing me a faint smile, she sniffled as she snaked her slender fingers around my wrists.

Jesy looked into my eyes, looked into them as if she was searching for something which could turn this whole situation around and make it better between the two of us. Not wanting to break down, I yet again swallowed the lump in my throat.

"If you love me, Jesy, can you then tell me why you're hiding your phone from me? Why you've been keeping secrets for a whole month? Because I want to know. I need to know. All this hush-hush is slowly driving me insane and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take."

"Baby, I...I want to tell you, I really do, but I can't. At least not now."

"Well, that seals the deal."

I wiggled my wrists out of her loose grip. Taking a deep breath, preparing myself to do the hardest thing in my life, I looked into her eyes. She opened her mouth, attempted to speak, but I put my index finger on her lips, hushed her.

"Jesy, if you can't explain what's going on or give me a reason why you're being so secretive, then I can't be with you. I can't be in a relationship where my partner makes me question everything, where I constantly worry over you being with someone else. And I surely can't be with someone who isn't being honest with me. That's not a good relationship, baby."

Cupping her face, I looked deeply into her brown-green eyes. I searched them the exact same way she searched mine a minute ago. Desperation, fear and panic swirled in the eyes I could get lost into forever. And I felt bad for being the one who caused her to feel these things.

"Leigh-Anne, please, don't" she breathed.

The desperation in her voice tugged at my heartstrings. She looked so vulnerable. I felt bad for her, but reminded myself I did this for a reason. I pecked her lips, then I backed away.

"It's over."

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Sooo, what do you guys think? ❤️️

xxMxx