I Am The Mockingjay.

Chapter Eleven

Gale
   I breathe a sigh of relief as I open my eyes. Thankfully Portia has put me in a suit that actually looks good on me. Not the ridiculous one Effie had me in earlier.
   Today we have our interviews with Caesar Flickerman. And apparently they take more effort than I thought they would. After five hours with Effie and then with Haymitch I'm about ready to go into the arena and kill someone.
   Effie, after her usual shrill morning awakening, got time with me first...lucky me. She had me prancing around in the most ridiculous forty piece suit ever. Then she sat me down and made me answer questions she'd prepared whilst smiling.
   I am not good at smiling. Before this morning I didn't think that was possible but oh how wrong I was. I should've taken a class on the subject before I'd gotten here...
   After Effie I was sent to the living room where Haymitch was. He looked somewhat pleasant and so I thought I was in for some relief after the nightmare I'd just gone through. Again I was wrong.
   Haymitch and I worked on the persona I wanted to take when I spoke on stage in front of all Panem. Though I'd never admit it to him I was terrified if crowds. So I'd figured up until that point that I'd just stick with my usual stone cold attitude to hide my fear. But this, of course, was not acceptable.
   We tried ferocious, snarky, sincere, cocky, humble and countless other angles. Though I enjoyed cocky it pissed Haymitch off and we ditched it.
   He both sat thoroughly angered at each other and spitting out comments to one another until Haymitch proposed an idea that made actual sense.
   "How about Sarcastic?" He sighed with exasperation.
   "What?" I growled.
   "You know exactly what I'm talking about, you're practically King of sarcasm. Think about it, go out there and just make sarcastic, angsty statements to whatever Caesar says." Haymitch said. I nodded optimistically.
   "Won't the capitol citizens hate me? If I'm being offensive?" I asked quizzically. Haymitch nodded his head from side to side, weighing the possibilities.
   "Not as long as you're being subtly sarcastic. Don't blatantly offend them and I think you're good. I played a similar angle during my interview..." Haymitch mumbles the last part.
    I had forgotten that Haymitch is a victor. And a victor of a quarter quell. He was reaped the the year of the 50th games where they reaped two girls and boys from each district. Leaving 48 in the arena.
    Haymitch stared with a far away look. I wondered if he was still haunted by those games. Watching 47 other kids die and he's still here...I shivered at the thought.
   After a moment Haymitch pinched the bridge of his nose and got back to work asking me questions. I do have to say I didn't have to reach very far for my sarcastic answers.
    "Like it?" Portia asks me. Breaking me from my trance of looking at myself in the mirror.
    "Yeah" I sigh. It's a simple, lightweight black suit. But around the sleeves and ends of the slacks there's threads sewn to make it look as if I'm engulfed in blue flame. 
   I look in the mirror and though I look good I can't help but remind myself of what my family would say about me back home. My mother would hush about how handsome I looked.
Just like your Father...She'd say. My brothers would make annoying comments about getting all the Capitol ladies and becoming the new Mayor and to keep my damn hands to myself. And Katniss...
   Suddenly a hand snatches my chin and forces me to look down at her. Portia looks up at me with her gold eyes that seem to see right through me. I realize that my own eyes are brimming with tears as I try not to think of home.
"There's someone back home isn't there?" Portia asks suspiciously. Her hand slowly removes itself from under my chin.
"My family-" I begin, but she interrupts.
"No. It's not just your family." She says as if she knew all along. I open up my mouth to reply that it's only my family but the only word that comes out is, "Katniss...". My voice is small and child-like, and weak. Suddenly I feel tired and I sit down on the couch behind me. Portia sits down too, with her hand on my shoulder.
   I wring my hands in my lap, and we sit in an ominous silence for a long time.
    "You're doing this for her aren't you?" Portia asks softly. Her voice is calm and quiet. I look at her defeated before I sigh and confess.
   "I don't know who I'm doing this for anymore..." Portia nods and listens, waiting for further explanation.
    "First it was Katniss, then it was Dawn, and Rue and Thresh and the Careers," I let out an exasperated sigh and run my fingers frustratedly through my hair, "I'm just getting too caught up in the game. I don't know what to aim for anymore...if Katniss was here she'd," My voice unintentionally wavers when I say her name again. I miss her.
   "She'd know." I finish. Portia nods her head understandingly.
   "Well. I think you should focus on her then." She says calmly.
    "Who Katniss?" I say bewildered, to which Portia nods.
    "If she's the only thing that makes sense to you I think you should focus on her. Go out there and give them a good show, and continue to try and win for her." As she tells me this she takes my jaw in her hand, turning my face towards her. I nod, agreeing with her.
   She stands up and motions for me to do the same. Portia brushes off my shoulders and takes out a comb from her blazer pocket. As she goes up to comb my hair I dodge her hand jokingly. She glares at me and a smirk and laugh. She rolls her eyes and flicks me on the forehead before proceeding to fix my hair.
   After everything is perfect she nods in accomplishment and she turns me around to have me look once more in the mirror.
   "Remember, deep breaths Gale." She reminds me. I realize I haven't been breathing for a good few minutes and I take her advice.
    "When you're out there, don't look at the crowd. Just find me. I'll be right up front. Talk to him like you're talking to me." I nod quickly, my nerves taking over my body. I take another deep breath. Portia moves so she's in front of me.
   "Think of her Gale." She says softly, nodding to make sure that I am. I nod back and bite my lower lip nervously. She stands on tip toe and kisses my cheek quickly before the door opens, and bodyguards are there to escort me. She grabs my hands and smiles at me.
   "You're going to steal the show." She says excitedly. And then she shoos me out the door with the guards.