Scarlett

Fix

fix
/fiks/
fix
do the necessary work to improve or adapt something.

Lunchtime.

The time where students can take a break from sitting in a classroom, some working vigorously, others simply dozing off in pure boredom. The time where they can enjoy time with their friends while snacking on the crappy school meals or, if they're lucky, a tasty lunch from home.

Lunchtime is the best time of the day for most people. A lot of them are counting down the hours until they get to leave the classroom for the cafeteria. They can't wait to go to lunch.

And for the past week or so, I felt the same way. Lunch was the time where I could be with Iris. We'd often sneak outside and enjoy the cool, but not too cold, fall weather as we eat. Sometimes we'd talk about nothing in particular and other times we'd sit in silence, enjoying each other's company. Every once in a while, I'd sneak glances at her and let myself flourish in the sight. It was so nice. It was so peaceful. For once, I was happy during those times.

But good things never last; I know that all too well. I could see her walking towards me, a welcoming smile adorning her face. I was so tempted to meet her in the middle so that the two of us could walk through the doors and sit outside together, but as soon as I saw Jesse trailing behind her, I knew that that was no longer an option.

I abruptly turned the other way, putting on a disguise of false confidence as I hastily walked in a random direction. I didn't dare look back once out of fear of how she might have reacted.

As I walked down the aisle between tables, something, or rather someone, caught my eye. Henry was sitting at one of the back tables alone as he slowly munched on a sort of sandwich. I had this idea in my head that he had a ton of friends, but now thinking about it, he might not. After all, this was the first time since middle school that I saw him at school. I really don't know anything about him.

I swallowed any sense of doubt that I might have had and marched in his direction. I set my tray down and settled on the bench across from him, making his head tilt upwards in surprise.

"Scarlett? What are you doing?" He questioned with a frown, cocking his head at me.

"I'm sitting here," I told him directly. "Don't you have any friends?"

"Uh, yeah. They're just not here yet." He shifted his eyes to stare at his tray and I knew he wasn't entirely telling the truth. "And you don't just ask people if they have any friends."

"Sorry..." To be completely honest, I didn't even think about that. I guess it could have come across as a little rude. "Well, I'm gonna sit here anyway."

"Don't you have any friends?" He asked. I was about to be offended but stopped myself when I saw the playful grin pulling on his lips. I rolled my eyes before mirroring it.

"Henry, you don't just ask people if they have any friends." I mockingly retorted. He let out a scuff.

"What about that blonde chick you seem to hang out with a lot?" He inquired. After I quirked a curious eyebrow at him, he shook his head and clarified. "I mean, I just see you sometimes and when I do, you're usually with some blonde girl."

"Oh," I murmured, stabbing my fork into the small plastic bowl of pineapples. "Yeah, that's... complicated."

"Oh," He said as if he now understood. "Do you... do you like h-"

"No!" I quickly defended, scowling at him. I sighed and softened my expression when I saw his partially shocked eyes. "I mean... yeah, but... It's complicated."

"What? Is she straight or something?"

"No, actually. She even straight up told me that she's gay," I looked down and smiled fondly at the memory. "But her cool gorgeous ex just moved here and it's easy to tell that I don't belong."

"That sucks." He frowned sympathetically.

"Yeah." I stared down at my lap as I made the mistake of letting my thoughts take over for a moment.

I really shouldn't be getting this depressed over this since I've only known Iris for a few days, but I couldn't help it. I immediately became attached to one of the few people that made me feel joy; she saved my life after all. She instantly meant so much to be without even knowing the first thing about her. And then the more I learned about her, the more endearing she became. The more attached and dependant on her I became. I now know that that was a reckless mistake.

"But you're also being kind of a wimp." I shot my head up at Henry, unable to stop myself from feeling slightly offended.

"I'm... what?" I glowered at him bitterly.

"Well, you just gave up on her as soon as you got a smidget of doubt." He pointed out before taking a bite of his sandwich. "I think you should try a little harder than that."

"But I'm only doing what will make her happy." I defended, crossing my arms over my chest.

"How do you know it will make her happy?" He raised a quizzical eyebrow. "How do you know she doesn't like you just as much as you like her?"

"I can't imagine anyone liking me that much." I felt my face heat up as soon as I realized what I had said, but I quickly shook it off. "I mean, I'm just not the kind of person she would like."

"But do you really know that?"

"I..." I felt my shoulders slump as I realized he was right. I didn't even think about how she actually feels. I assumed too quickly that she doesn't like me. The thought of her possibly liking me back never even crossed my mind.

"But she doesn't even know I'm gay." I finally blurted out making Henry laugh lightly. I shot him a scowl since I hadn't meant to be funny.

"I think it'd be easy enough to tell her." He said, laughter still trailing in his voice.

"That's easy for you to say," I sulked. "She probably thinks I hate her now."

"What? Why?" He stopped his snickering to ask.

"I've sort of been avoiding her lately," I admit, shifting my eyes to avoid his.

"Oh, Scarlett."

"Not completely!" I defended. "I still talked to her a little bit. I was just being sort of dismissive and possibly a little rude."

"You need to fix this."

I glanced around the room until my eyes landed on the all too familiar light blonde hair and breathtaking smile. She was sitting next to Jesse as the two of them were with a group of people that were vaguely familiar, but I didn't really know. She was smiling and laughing along with them, her eyes sparkling. She looked so happy, happier than I could ever make her. She looked like she belonged with them. She fit in and it just looked right.

How could I ever ruin that?

"I think I already have."