Scarlett

Old Habits Die Hard

I was born in a wealthy family. My father was a successful businessman, my mother stays home, and when I was born, I was meant to be their perfect little girl.

And for a while I was. I wore the dresses that they bought me and I played with the dolls that they gave me. Our family was so happy. I was so happy.

That was before I was around six and I told my parents that I wanted to marry The Little Mermaid...

~

I could hear him yelling. I do all the time. He's always yelling. He's always mad. And it's my fault.

I'm a mistake to the family. Scarlett Washington was meant to grow up rich and successful and marry a wealthy man.

But instead I'm in my room, listening to my father yelling at my mother and accusing her of raising me wrong. This happens almost everyday.

I finally heard the yelling come to a stop. My mother's soft footsteps were heard from the hallway before she came into my room.

I was sat on my bed listening before I looked up at her without a word. She put on her best fake smile.

"Well, come on, Scarlett. The Johnsons are going to be here soon. You need to look your best for Henry." She said with a wink before looking through my closet.

"You know I don't like Henry." I said quietly. My mother tries to pretend that I'm straight, by playing matchmaker, but she knows I'm not. She just doesn't want to admit it. Not even to herself.

She went quiet after I said that and looked down.

"Please get ready for our guests." She said weakly before leaving my room.

I took a deep breath before looking down at the dressed laid out on my bed. It wasn't me at all, but my mother knew that and most likely picked it out because of it. I had to wear it though, because I'm sure a T-shirt and ripped jeans would not be appropriate and definitely not how my parents would want to present me to the Johnson's. Especially not the oh-so-handsome Henry.

He is good looking, but that's his only good feature. He's a spoiled idiot that most likely doesn't know of any subject other than himself.

After putting on the dress and some makeup, I looked at myself in the mirror.

It felt wrong. It felt fake. It felt like I was pretending to be someone I'm not. Someone's choice of clothing tells a lot about a person, and this choice of clothing wasn't mine.

I stood up straight before making my way downstairs, my best fake smile plastered across my face. My mother gave me an inviting smile as I entered the room and took a seat next to Henry: my usual place, of course.

Henry looked at me with a stupid flirtatious grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and looked away from him.

"So, Henry, what have you been up to lately?" Mom asked, trying to make conversation.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Mostly studying. Testing is coming up, but I don't need to worry, because I'll obviously get all A's without even studying because I'm just naturally brilliant," and he went on and on about how perfect he is. I know he's trying to impress me, but I haven't heard of anyone impressed by a guy constantly overrating himself.

"...you should have heard Mr. Hilton. He couldn't get enough of me, he even used me as an example of a perfect-"

"When's dinner?" I interrupted. I'm sorry, but my head is filled so high with lies, it could burst any minute now.

"Scarlett, you don't want to be rude. Let Henry finish," Kathleen Johnson, Henry's mom, said. Her and her husband, Edmund Johnson, both act like my second pair of parents even though I only see them maybe once every two weeks.

"That's if there is going to be a finish..." I grumbled under my breath as I looked away.

"What was that?" She asked, sternly.

"Nothing." I said with quick smile, that fell immediately after she looked
away.

"Alright, go on Henry." Mom said with a small smile. Henry rolled his eyes at me before continuing.

"Anyways, so Mr. Hilton used my report as an example of a perfect score and-" He started.

"The girl has a point. Shouldn't dinner be ready by now, I'm starving." My father said as he stood up, "and Henry, lying to make you look better doesn't help you any so you might as well just shut up already."

Everyone watched as he left to go to the dining room. At least we both agree on something.

"Well," I said as I stood up and headed towards the dining room, "I'm gonna go eat."

I can sense my mother sighing before everyone comes along. I plopped down in my usual place and waited for the food to be served.

After the food was served and everyone was eating, my mother broke the silence again.

"So, Henry's been planning on going to Harvard, isn't that nice Scarlett?" She asked. I looked up at her with a mouth still full of food.

"Yeah, that's great." I responded before swallowing, "great school, if you can get it."

"And where are you planning on going for college?" Edmund asked me, with a doubtful look on his face.

"Uh, I don't know yet." I responded as I awkwardly shifted in my seat.

"Well, you're in your Junior year, don't you think it's about time to be figuring that out?" He asked.

"Look, I'm still deciding, okay?" I said, starting to get irritated.

"It is about time you get your life together, Scarlett. Start by getting yourself a boyfriend already." My father said as he gives me a cold, knowingly look. I glared at him back as I swallowed hard. I then pushed out of my seat and stomped up to my room, tears threatening to spill.

I slammed the door behind me before sliding down it, letting the tears fall.

It's true, what my father said. I don't have my life together.

I then remembered an old friend I had kept in the back of my drawer. I quickly scrambled to my feet and ripped my drawer open to find the razor.

My life is a mess.

1 cut.

I can never pull it together. I'll never impress my family.

2 cuts.

I'm a freak of nature. There's a reason two girls can't breed. They're not supposed to be together.

3 cuts.

Why can't I just be the perfect girl that I was meant to be? Why did I have to screw everything up?

4 cuts.

I'm a mess. Everything about me is a mistake.

5 cuts.

I watched as the deep red spots of blood, that I knew too well, seeped into shape, and I knew they were almost definitely going to leave a scar.

I guess old habits die hard.