Scarlett

Happy

happy
/ ˈhapē/
hap·py
feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

The incident with Henry almost made me forget about what caused the whole mess in the first place. I felt the dull ache in my chest as soon as I heard her call out my name from across the hall the next morning.

I glanced in the direction of Iris's voice to see her making her way towards me through the maze of other students. She gave a content smile once she reached me. I tried not to show any enthusiasm. After years of false hope and broken promises, I knew that I couldn't trust her smiles anymore.

"Hey," She spoke relatively softly, considering how noisy the crowded hallways currently were. "I was a little worried about you yesterday. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I was just tired, like I said." I shrugged it off as I fumbled with the things in my locker, trying my best to avoid meeting her crystal eyes.

"Oh," She replied in a seemingly disappointed manner. "Well, are you feeling better today?"

"Um," I took one last thing out of my locker as I decided whether or not I was "feeling better." I came to the decision of letting her think I was fine. "Yeah."

"That's good." She perked up as a grin erupted on her lips, replacing the previous worried expression. I tried to give her one in return as I began to saunter in the direction of the economics class. I internally grimaced when she jogged up next to me, falling into step by my side.

"Where's Jesse?" I asked with a bit of edge to my tone. I didn't mean to come across as bitter (even though I was), but I could tell she sensed it by the way her eyebrows knitted together in a soft frown.

"I... I don't know." She responded, glancing down at her shoes. "Probably making friends already. She's a pretty sociable person, after all."

I hummed in response.

Sociable.

Now that's something I could never relate to. I'm quiet and introverted. I've hardly had a real friend in my life. I barely even know how to socialize properly. I'm antisocial. But Iris is so friendly and energy-filled. She's full of smiles and is always seeking to make people happy.

She's so sociable.

"You should be with her and her new friends then," I said flatly, my chest tightening as the impulsive words left my mouth.

"Why?" She stopped in her tracks to look at me with hurt-filled eyes, giving me no choice but to stop as well. "I want to be with you."

"But I'm not sociable," I argued as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to do this. I was hoping that she would just ditch me for better friends so I wouldn't have to go through this part. But no, she had to be nice and pretend that she still wants to spend time with me. Now I'm stuck explaining to her how much I suck and how we'd both be better off if she left me behind.

"That's okay, you don't need to be." She shook her head with an uneasy smile. Does she realize that she's only making things more difficult for me? "I'm sick of big groups of friends anyway."

"Iris, please-"

"Hey! You bandaged your arms!" She cheered softly as she gently took one of my hands into hers so she could observe my arm. "Scarlett, I'm proud of you."

"Yeah..." I swiftly retract my arm from her grasp before shoving the sleeve lower in order to hide it. "Thanks."

She only beamed at me, making me look the other way, uncomfortable under her gaze. Before she could say anything else, I quickly turned and picked up pace again as I hurried to class.

"Scarlett, what's the rush?" She called out, light laughter laced into her tone. "Class doesn't start for another ten minutes."

"I just wanted to get out of the crowded hall," I said, quickly finding my way into my assigned seat. To my disappointment, Iris only followed and plopped herself down in the seat next to it.

"So what made you decide to bandage your arms?" She spoke in a hushed voice as she leaned in closer.

"Um," I shifted awkwardly. "It was Henry, actually."

"Henry?" She cocked her head, the corners of her mouth quirking downwards only slightly. "Who's Henry?"

"Just someone I know," I responded bluntly, staring down at my desk as I absentmindedly tapped my pencil against the surface.

"And he bandaged up your arms for you?" She asked, her voice somewhat wavering. I simply nodded.

"I see,"

Maybe making it seem like I have someone else will make it easier for her to leave me be. I can only assume that the only reason she sticks with me is out of pity, so hopefully, it'll work.

"Iris! You're in this class! That's awesome!" I heard a voice cheer, making a small sickly feeling pool into my stomach. Jesse waltzed into the room, holding her head high as her emerald eyes sparked with all sorts of confidence. She took a seat in front of Iris before she looked at me. "Oh hey, Scarlett."

I didn't bother answering since it was bluntly obvious that she had no real interest in me. She wanted to talk to Iris and she should. She has every right to and Iris deserves to be talked to by someone like her. They go well together. Iris and Jesse. Like a match made in heaven.

After that, I diverted my attention from them, blocking out anything that the two of them might have said. I let my mind wander to anything but them and ended up thinking of Henry.

Maybe being with Henry wouldn't be so bad. After recent discover, he's actually not that bad of a person. He's even nice and someone I can relate to. I think he understands me, at least to a point, which is rare. Besides, it would make everyone happy. He'd be happy, his parents would be happy, and my parents would be ecstatic. Of course, I wouldn't, but that might be what I'd have to sacrifice in order to please everyone. It just might be worth it.

The sound of the bell ringing interrupted my thoughts and I was brought back to reality. I couldn't help my attention from being caught by Iris and Jesse standing to go towards Iris's seat, Jesse helping herself to the empty one behind her. Despite my desperate attempts to avoid them and insist we're better off separate, I still felt that painful pulling in my chest as I watched them move further and further away from me.

They're happy, though. Iris is happy. I might not be happy, but that's okay. Happy isn't something I do, anyway. I probably shouldn't have tried it in the first place if I'm honest. I will admit that it's addicting, but just like with anything addicting, it could be dangerous. It's safer for me to avoid it so that I won't miss it.

I've been lacking happy almost my whole life. I might as well keep it up.