This Isn't Fair {A Hunter X Hunter Fanfic}

Chapter 1: Worth

"It's killing you!" One shouted as the pale figure on the bed shifted uncontrollably, tears forming in its eyes as it whispered the same words over and over.

"Make it stop." The whisper was barely audible to its own ears, but it was still hopeful it reached the other's ears as well.

"You've chosen to suffer through this alone. Bear the consequences."

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A pale figure stood alone in the bathroom, his hands gripping into the sink so hard as if his life depended on it, he so badly knew that in reality it was almost as true as that. He had stared at his reflection long enough to realize that it was really him the one he was staring at.

He closed his eyes deeply before telling to himself once again, "I had to do it," He took a deep breath as he gritted his teeth together and continued, "for him, I did it for him." His voice cracked slightly in the end, but it wasn't to be unexpected, after all he couldn't even trust his own voice to talk to himself.

He slowly opened his eyes once again and stared at his reflection on the mirror and had the disappointed wash over him, he could almost lie saying that he was 'fine' only if it wasn't for the dark circles under his eyes, contrasting on his ever so pale skin more than ever, and the cold sweat that was starting to form on his brow.

He cursed when another wave of nausea came washing over him but at least he had been able to hold it down whatever he had left, or if he had anything left in his stomach. Moving silently to throw his shirt back on he exited the bathroom careful not to wake the other occupant in the room. It wouldn't be fair to wake up his sister early right on the day that she would be leaving in her own adventure, with her own friends.

He was sure he had never seen Alluka so excited before, and he knew she had gotten bored of him-she did had spent two whole years traveling with him- and now it got to the point where he couldn't do much, he knew that for sure; and he knew that the so called 'curse' was at fault.

He felt as if his energy was taken away from him day after day, leaving him unable to stay one hour walking before he needed a break. And he knew that his sister had probably seen it coming, Nanika told Alluka all the consequences, but still when he managed to smile to her, she would smile back seeing through her brother's eyes the pain that he was going through. Knowing nothing would make him change his mind into regretting it.

"It was for the good cause" He once told her, and he still remembered when she cried saying it was all her fault, yet he was still able to talk her out of it and tell her he wasn't that weak, and that he could handle some of the consequences. He knew he couldn't, it was a complete lie, but she still managed to believe it.

And so he managed to get her to make friends, and plan adventures with them. Even when she didn't want to leave her brother alone because she felt as if he was closer to death with each passing second-which it was true- he managed to talk her out of it. And good enough for him she trusted her brother's words.

Even through all never once had crossed his mind came that it was Gon's fault, not even when Nanika herself blamed his best friend, it never crossed his mind. He would gladly die if it was for his best friend to live.

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When it came time for Alluka's departure, she cried on his arms even more when they had first reunited, he patiently waited until she stopped crying to tell her that everything was going to be fine and that he would call her each and every day.

They stood in complete silence on their hotel room before Alluka finally said something.

"You promise onii-chan?" She fidgeted with her fingers, refusing to look up at him.

"Yes." He said, a small smile forming on his lips.

"And you promise you'll be okay until I come back?" With that she looked up at him, tears on the verge of slipping as she tried to hold her composure.

"Hey-! Who do you think I am? Of course I am going to be fine!" He tried to lighten up the mood, but the seriousness of her face was what threw him off. She was worried and he couldn't blame her.

"But I'm serious!" She almost shouted, "and Nanika told me that if you ask her for the reversion you can rever-" He didn't allow her to finish her sentence as he covered her mouth with his hand.

"Shhhh, now you should go because you don't want to keep your friends waiting." He started to shove her out the door but she stopped him.

"You're going to be alone." She mumbled.

Oh.....

So it clicked on him, so that's what she was worried about. But why would she be worried about him being alone? He was trained as an assassin he could handle being alone...right? He knew he could probably call Leorio or Kurapika or even Gon...-no not Gon.

"Alluka I'm a grown up." Was the only thing he replied, knowing it wasn't what his sister wanted to hear.

She pouted but said nothing in return before she made her way to the door, stopping before opening to look at him with dreadful eyes and say, "Every day! You're going to call me and you better pick it up!"

Killua raised his hands in a guilty manner, with a smirk on his lips before replying, "Its a promise I must keep."

And that was the last thing they said to each other before he watched her leave.

Taking a deep breath he allowed himself to fall back into the bed, realizing how tired and sore his body was, after all he had spent most of the night next to a toilet throwing up.

"It's still worth it." He told himself as if those were the only words keeping him sane. "For him, I did it for him."

Soon enough he was fast asleep and forgot about the world around him.

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TBC

A/N: