Past Passages

Journal 7

     Why didn't I kiss him?

     Because I'm stupid.

     Because I'm not stupid.

     To prove a point.

     What point was I trying to prove?

     The best thing about being a hunter was being unattached to your emotions. You don't need to feel to kill. I miss it so much. I'd rather be slicing up bloodsuckers than sitting in a classroom for seven hours a day, five days a week. And
the weekends are the worst. Nothing to do. I can't even go hunting solo because then I'd be breaking the rules if my suspension. If a vampire attacked me and I defended myself it'd be different. But it's noon, what vampire is going to attack now?

     I groan and drag myself out of bed. I've been up for the passed six hours pretending to sleep. I don't even know what to do with myself. Usually, I'd just walk around the town and people watch, but today I don't feel like it.

     I hear Amy come up the stair and knock on my door. "Selene, are you up yet?"

     I don't answer her.

     She opens my door and comes in. Wow, thanks for the privacy. "I know this change must be very hard for you," she says, "but I think you should think about this in a positive way. How's about I take you to the mall? You can pick out any thing you like."

     I just stare at her from my laid out position on the bed. "I hate the mall."

     "Ok, what about the movies? There a new comedy out that I'm sure you'll love."

     I continue to stare at her.

     She sighs. "Look, I'm trying, okay?"

     Rolling my eyes I decide to give. Just to make her shut up. "If we're not back in three hours I'm calling the police."

     She gives a small relieved smile. "Okay, I'll meet you downstairs."

     Now an hours for s half later, I'm walking through the mall pretending to browse through merchandise. This is the seventh store we've been in and I still haven't bought a thing while Amy is carrying bags upon bags of shirts, shoes, and accessories.

     "I think we should break for lunch." Amy says, finally. "But first let's put these bags in the car."

      So we go out to the car, I carry the bags because Amy's twig arms look like they're about to break, and I put the bags in the truck. Thankfully, there aren't a lot of people at the mall today so all the food court lines are short. We order five burgers (four of them for me) and two large sodas from a burger place and sit at a nearby table.

      "I couldn't help but notice you didn't get anything." Amy says once we're seated.

      I shrug. "Didn't see anything I liked."

     "Well, next store I'll pick something out for you." She chuckles to herself. "David may work a lot but at least I have his money to keep me company."

     "Is that how it works? He beats you senseless and makes up for it by letting you spend as much of his money as you want?" I ask plainly.

     "I..." Amy looks down like she's ashamed and unconsciously pulls her sweater sleeves down. It's ninety degrees out, definitely not sweater weather. She puts on a smile fast and says, "He- He doesn't mean to do it. It was just an accident."

     "No." I all but snap at her. "Once, with extreme provocation, is an accident. Those"-I point at the bruises on her arms-"are no accident." She opens her mouth to say something else but I rush on, interrupting her. "But that's none of my business. When you decide you need help, you'll talk to someone or just leave him."