T-Shirt Girl (COMPLETED)

TSG 14 - Second Chance

"Instead of holding you, I was holding out. I should've let you in, but I let you down. You were the first to give, I was the first to ask. Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance." --Second Chance, Faber Drive

---

"Let's break up."

It didn't really sink in at first. Jae likes him. He likes Jae. But somehow liking each other isn't enough. He knew that he was at fault. He knew that it's unfair to her. He doesn't want to hurt her and yet, hurting her seems inevitable.

It's like no matter what he does, he would end up hurting her. And he knew that the only logical thing to do is to let her go and leave. Alam niya ang mangyayari kapag ginawa niya iyon. There would be no one to distract him from Jazz. No one would catch his tears. No one would break his fall. No one would spare him from the hurt.

Jae became his defense. Without her, he's bare. Ito ang tagasalo ng lahat ng ibinabato sa kanya ng mundo. And maybe it's selfish of him to think that he's also protecting Jae from pain by being with him. Maybe it's best to just stop.

But thinking about a day without Jae somehow makes him sad. And maybe it's just selfish of him but he just couldn't let go yet.

"No."

"No?"

"Ayoko."

He held her hand and tightened the grip when she tried to break free from his hold.

"Toby!"

"Jae, no," mariin nyang sabi.

"Ang selfish mo!" naiiyak nitong sabi sa kanya.

He sighed. "Alam ko."

"You can't keep me hanging around just so you could have some spare to go to when she throws you away again!"

"You're not a spare, Jae."

"Oh, please!" She rolled her eyes. "We both know what's true."

"All I ask of you is to give me another chance. I promise I won't make you cry again."

Hindi niya malaman kung matatawa ba ito o babatuhin siya ng plato.

"You won't even last a week without making me cry."

And that hit home. Parang sa tuwing magkasama sila, wala na itong ginawa kundi iyakan sya. And for someone who already cried a lot, it doesn't seem that she will run out of tears very soon. And that makes him think that Jae is a deep person. Hindi lang profound. He knew that if she invested herself into someone, it will take her forever to get over it. Her feelings run deep, parang balon na hinukay sa lupa.

He likes that about her. And that's why he can't just let go. There's potential happiness with Jae and if he would just keep on digging, he will get to that.

"Okay, ganito na lang. Kung masasaktan ka man, saktan mo rin ako. Gawin mo 'kong personal punching bag, if it will make you feel better."

"Ano 'yan, compensation?"

Tumango siya.

Mataman tiningnan ni Jae si Toby, and then her gaze lingered on their hands. There is something about them that is so dysfunctional, so breakable that they wouldn't want to keep, because it will destroy the both of them. And yet, there is something else too, something that ties them with that breakable part, not allowing them to let go completely.

She sighed. Why does she fall so fast? Walang bwelo, talon agad. Tuloy, mas malakas ang impact. Mas masakit. Hindi na sya natuto, palagi na lang.

"Ang tanga ko talaga," pag-amin niya rito. "I wanted to break up with you but I can't even break the simple union of our hands."