American Horror Story Character Imagines

Eyes Closed: Kit Walker

Inspired by the lyrics to eyes closed by Halsey.
In which reader gets a boyfriend after Kit is admitted to briar cliff but hasn't gotten over him yet. In this imagine he doesn't get framed for the murder of his "missing" wife. Just other shit lol.

"I know how to play, I know this game."

I know that I probably shouldn't be with anyone if I'm not over Kit yet, but it's hard to get over someone you were married to in a short period of time.
He was the love of my life.
He was my soulmate.
My heart.
My life.
And now he's gone, being framed for something he didn't do. He's too kind to hurt a soul.
Yet, all these men I get with are almost my attempt to move on.
It always fails but I try.
I know how to trick my self in to thinking that they're Kit, but it always results in me either moaning his name, or mentioning his name somehow, and then I have to explain who Kit is, or was. They always call me crazy for not getting over this "psychopathic murderer" but I know he didn't commit those crimes. He's my husband for Christ sake.

"If I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you."

I know it's messed up, and as sick as it sounds pretending these guys are Kit kind of helps relieve the tension.
I've been dating this guy named Baker, and he's been telling me for the past three days that he's wants to go further in our relationship. I'm just not sure I'm ready to go all the way, I mean I can deal with kissing because you close your eyes and I can easily trick myself into believing that he's Kit, but sex.
I can't do sex.

Time skip

Baker is currently at my house and we are making out. I try to hint that he needs to go a little slower like Kit and he catches on quickly. Kit. I miss him so much. This pain in my chest just won't go away no matter what I do. I feel like I can't catch my breath all the time. I feel as if I have no more tears to cry for I have cried all that I have.
I know it's wrong. I know. But in this moment. Him and I kissing, even if for a slight second. I can breathe again.

"I'm face to face with someone new."

That is until I open my eyes at least.
Then I'm faced with this whole other man who is not my husband. I get confused and even startled at times, but I've learned to try to suppress that feeling the best that I can.
"You're a really good kisser," Baker says while wiping his mouth.
"Thanks," I say somewhat flatly while sitting down onto my couch.

"They don't realize that I'm thinking about you."

"What's wrong," He asks while sitting down next to me putting my hand in his.
"Nothing, I'm just not ready to go all the way," say.
"Alright, I can wait," He replies kindly.
As sweet as he is. He doesn't realize that I'm thinking about Kit. I feel bad because Baker is a really good guy. I don't really want to hurt him.
Even though I really am just using him for my own peace of mind. He deserves someone better. Someone who will truly love him.
I mean I do care about him don't get me wrong, but nothing can compare to Kit. It just hurts so fucking much.
At this point I had started crying just thinking about him.
"Shh it's okay Y/N," He says while pulling me into his chest and rubbing my back up and down soothingly.
"No it's not Baker," I say as I pull away from him.
"What do you mean," He asks confused.
"I'm so sorry," I say practically sobbing.
"I just can't do this anymore. You deserve someone who wants to be with you forever and will truly truly care about you. You're a great guy and need a better person to be with. I'm going to be honest with you," I say as I pull his hand into mine.
"I'm not over Kit. I don't know if I ever will get over Kit, and I don't want to hurt you by pretending that I'm fine because I'm really not. I think I'm depressed because no matter what I do I can't get passed this ongoing sadness. I'm just really starting to loose hope." I say sobbing.
He pulls me into him yet again. Rubbing my back comfortably.
"Hey, it's okay," He says calmly.
"I'm not just going to leave you Y/N because you obviously need a friend to help you get through this. What kind of man would I be if I just left you to fall apart completely. Yes I am a little hurt because I love you, but I'll be there for you if you need because I care about your feelings and your well being," He says kindly.
"Thank you so much Baker. I really appreciate this. It's really kind of you," I says while sniffling.
"Any time Y/N. And if you're up for it, why don't we see if you can go and visit him, Okay?" He suggests.
"Okay," I say as I lean in to hug him.

Time skip

Later that night baker and I planned on going to visit Kit. And honestly, I don't think I've ever been more ready for something in my entire life.