It took years to finally push myself to do this. I looked in the mirror as I got ready for school and sighed deeply as if I was really staring at her right now. I had a knot in my stomach and I was really scared. I wonder what she would say? I already had the answer but another part of me said there could possibly be a chance to go for it. I listened to that other half and finished getting ready. I told my mom and dad goodbye and headed for school on my bicycle. I would take the bus, but it wasn't that far.
I turned through sharp curves and passed a few houses. There was one hill I hated but after practice, I managed to get across it. The long brick building with a white roof and flag next to it was in my view. My knot continued to grow and it would only be a matter of time before it got worse.
I fumbled through my bag and found the note i had written to her just in case I chickened out. I stuffed in into my pocket and made my way to my classroom. Carlos stood at the doorway highfiving the popular kids. When he saw me he raised his hand high in the air expecting me to high five, but I didn't. This made him mad. "If you don't high five, you don't get into class." I hesitated. I didn't want to give this douche a high five, but I did. He made me miss and pointed at me laughing. I rolled my eyes and walked in. My seat was next to the window. I liked it there because I daydreamed half the time while glancing out at nature. We are getting close to getting out for spring break. I sat there resting my cheek on my hand thinking about what I should say. A loud crowd of laughter broke my thought and made me irritable. I saw that Carlos had cracked a joke. I thought his jokes were so lame. The were also very perverted and somewhat sexist, despite his love for girls. The door closed and in walked none other than Kalila. I took my hand away and watched as she made her way to the desk next to me. I could of sworn my heart skipped a couple of beats. She never looked at me. Instead she was too busy getting her things organized. She had a pink purse with a cute monkey chain on the zipper. It was about to fall off her desk until I caught it. This surprised her and she smiled saying thank you. "Your welcome." I murmured. I then started to doubt myself. I can hardly talk to her and now I want to ask her out? We barely shared a conversation even though we were both honor students and even in the beta club together. We never talked much, and I want to ask her out? It made me look like I was a creeper. I laid my head on the desk now crushed on the inside. The knot makes it hard to concentrate. I feel so small all of a sudden. My body is like jelly. I'm chickening out right now. Maybe I didn't have the courage after all. No! my conscious says Don't do that! You can still have a chance! Don't be afraid! It is encouraging for a moment, but I look at Kalila one more time. She is now turned to one of the girls and is asking about something. Tap her on the shoulders. My conscious says. I swallow hard and extend my arm out to poke her. When I do she briskly turns to me. "Yes?" "Uh, Kalila, can I talk to you when we go out to our lockers?" "Sure." "Ok." I leave her alone. My knees are starting to buckle up. My stomach feels funny. I hope I don't throw up. Its only a matter of time before I sink back into my shell. I had to do this.
I dreaded the bell and class seemed to be moving lot faster than usual, or it could just be me. I swallowed hard. Was it hot in here? Just me? My right foot would not stop tapping. When I tried to stop it soon it would start again. Someone kicked my desk telling me to stop. I mumbled an apology. The bell rang. Oh God, what do I do now? My words that I had practiced over and over are now gone, escaped, washed away. As we pile up out of the room, Kalila waits outside the door for me. My heart has never beat so fast in my entire life. Am I going to have a heart attack? Kalila is by her locker now. "What is it you wanted to tell me?" "Well Its more like I wanna ask you something." "Ok then, what is it?" Her arms are crossed but she has a cheerful smile on her face like she always did. I wonder what she looked like when she was mad or upset? "Uh." was the first thing to come out of my mouth. I hope nobody was paying attention. Everybody was rushing around us. "Um I just-" I started to stammer. My throat was dry. I kept freezing up and stopping at just. "Are you ok?" She placed a hand on my shoulder. I was like jelly. I backed up. "Would you-would you." I muttered. "Huh?" "UH! Would you like-"
A few people heard my voice getting louder, and these few brought more people to us. I could feel myself going back into that annoying shell. "Malachi?" "Would you go out with me?!"
Silence. Somebody say something, anything! I could hear a pin drop to ground. My head was to the floor and I was scared to look up. I heard shuffling feet, but that's all. "Uh..." That strange feeling found its way again and I started to sweat. Should I see her face? What is she thinking? Is she grossed out?
"Gee-Malachi-I..." She scratched her head thinking hard. Please just give me an answer...after a few minutes of thought she said. "Can you wait until the end of the school day, and then I'll tell you?" "I guess." No! You want your answer now! Why do you have to wait? Yeah, why do I have to wait? At least she didn't tell me no right off the spot. I was a bit relieved but I was worried about what she would tell me at the end of school. I had a bad feeling, at the same time I had a good one too. I slipped back into my shell when the crowd dispersed. The only person that stayed was Carlos.
