Bora Bora Bora

Prologue

Lorna's POV

Let's get one thing straight: I never meant for that bomb I put in her car to kill her.

I never wanted someone to die. I just wanted someone to love me.
Love is so fucking confusing. It keeps getting messed up with all these other feelings: hate, obsession, pain, desperation. They get so messed up that you can't even tell which is which anymore. I'm starting to think they're all the same. We name them differently, depending on the moment.

To be honest I'm still not sure exactly what I wanted that bomb to do. All I know is that I couldn't stop picturing them in the car, together, riding off into the fucking sunset, laughing at each other's stupid jokes, listening to Peter Gabriel songs as they pulled out of the driveway. Him, unbuckling his seatbelt to lean over and kiss her. His hand on her hair.

I kept picturing it, and I couldn't stand it. I had to make it go away. I had to.
And that was the only way I could think of, the best way to make all that go away. Funny thing is, I can't remember making the bomb. I can't even remember putting it in her car. All I remember was the relief I felt when I heard that it hadn't worked. The relief and the frustration. Not because I hadn't blown her up, but because I realized that maybe there was no way to make those horrible feelings go away.

But there was a way.

And her name was Nicky.