Now or Never ~ J.JK [Completed]

⚫Chapter 9⚫

"Everyday I'm closer to my last breath and I can't help but smile about it"

Time Stamp: 10:00am

The past is for reminiscing, the future is for preparing, the present is for living in the moment, but you know I've had enough, I can't go on like this anymore, I give up, I want to die already, this is so frustrating and I can't take it anymore, honestly why can't the time run out faster.

When I see the way, he's trying to hold everything in, my heart can't help but break, sometimes I'd find him crying, when I ask what's wrong he'd wipe his tears away, smile at me, and say it's nothing, but even though I know the reason why, I don't press any further than I should, I'm just waiting for the time to run out already, I'm not afraid to die, I'm just afraid to leave him here all alone.

I know he loves me, just like I love him, I've been oblivious all this time for a reason, I know I won't be here for too long, that's why, I can't have him, loving me, knowing he's about to lose me, cause when you lose the person you love, it hits you hard and honestly I don't want to hurt him like that, I probably already did without knowing, I know he's frustrated over the fact that he couldn't protect me like he wanted to, but having him by my side all this time, is all I could ever ask for.

Someday when the pages of my life ends, I know that you will be one of its most beautiful page and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way but please since you always break your promises, promise me, you'll never love me, no matter how hard, it may seem.

I don't regret the way I feel in this moment, from when we were kids to now, the time we spent together I enjoyed it all, I enjoyed everything, but I knew it would all come to an end sooner than later, at a young age, I already knew about my father's illness, but I tried to ignore it, I played ignorant, I pretended not to know, I didn't want my father to cry, he didn't want to seem weak in my eyes, but weak or not, he'd always be my anpanman, but that day I met kook, he became my second hero, he'd always lived up to his words, no matter how much we fought, he always stuck by my side, for that I'm grateful, but......

Aren't I too much of a burden to him, doesn't he ever get tired of having to be by my side all the time, he never complains, he never tells me what he wants, he always listens to my complains and needs, everything has always been about me, but what about him, doesn't he have wants and needs?

Isn't looking after me for so long, been a pain in the ass for him. Sometimes I feel like asking him, but then there's apart of me, that's afraid of what he'll say, there's apart of me, that doesn't want to know, but I need to.

Time Stamp: 10:10 am
10 months remaining

"Even after I die, the world will go on"

~♥~♥~♥~

A/n: a kiss scene or nah?👀