Now or Never ~ J.JK [Completed]

⚫Chapter 17⚫

"Say it say it before you run out of time. Say it before it's too late"

(Since this is a double update for the day, make sure to read the previous chapter if you haven't)

Time Stamp: 11:30pm

Hearing what I said, kook looked at me with a shocked  expression on his face, his eye lids blinking rapidly for a second, he was now hovering over me, my hands holding unto his arms lightly.

"Say that again"

He said, regaining his composure, i tried to stop myself from laughing, as i looked at his facial expression, i knew he was serious, i don't know why but i felt like teasing him a bit, wrapping my legs around his waist, my arm making its way, around his neck, i pulled him closer to me, our faces only centimetres apart.

"I love you"

I said looking him in the eyes, before my eyes wandered to his lips, pushing my head up close enough, so that our nose were touching, i could feel his breath hitched, as he layed on top of me, between my legs.

"Really?"

Kook said, a smile starting to make its way on his face, nodding my head, i kissed him on the forehead, resting his head unto my chest, making sure he could hear my rapid heart beat.

"Really"

I spoke, combing one hand through his hair, humming in response, he raised his head up, just enough to look at me.

"You finally said it"

Kook said smiling, my cheeks became slightly tinted red, it's the first time, I'd ever seen him smile like that. But he was right, i finally did.

But it won't change anything, it won't change the fact that I'll be gone soon, it wont but honestly i wish it could, but i don't want to be selfish anymore, I've only been thinking about myself lately, I've been worrying about him yes, but for whose sake was it for? Him or mine?.

Even if we can't get married and have a family together, i can still make him happy, during the little bit of time, that i have here, but won't that just make it harder for him when im gone?.

"I love you too, and i always have even during those times, i felt like i didn't"

Kook said, not breaking eye contact with me, i didn't know whether to take what he said as a compliment or an insult, frowning i pinched him hard on the cheek, making him wince in pain, before we both burst out laughing, after calming our selves down, kook flipped me over, now i was the one laying on top of him, my arm wrapped around his torso, as he combed one hand through my hair, kissing me lightly on the forehead and you know for the first time in my life, i felt at peace, i felt like nothing bad would happen but it made me realise something.

While i thought i was learning how to live, I've been learning how to die, placing my self in so many situations thinking that it's all for his sake, when in actuality it was all for mine, i never blamed anyone for my illness, i never blamed my father and honestly i didn't even blame god but sometimes i wondered why i had to suffer like this, why did i have to be the one, why me?

Looking up slightly after hearing kooks breathing becoming shallow and his heart beat slowing down, i saw that he had fallen asleep, this time with a smile on his face, poking his cheek lightly i giggled.

"What are you so happy about?"

Time Stamp: 12:00am

"I don't want to lose you now"

⭐❤⭐