The Vamps Fanfiction.

Stay Stay Stay - Taylor Swift.

"Yes I know that but i'm just saying that maybe if I go a natural colour i'll suit it more?" I was with Emma in Boots trying to decide what colour my hair was going next. We both couldn't decide, she wanted me to try blue but I was thinking all brown.

"Listen trust me, crazy colours is your thing, look i'll even ask Con hes ringing me" Em then answered her phone to Con, they were both going pretty strong, not in a relationship yet but strong.

"Shannon's dying her hair again, blue or brown?" Im guessing she lost because her face dropped.

"Damn, he said brown" I knew it.

"See I told you! change is good sometimes, hey i'll get bored in a few months away" I lifted a box of brown hair dye and went to the till. I cant remember the last time I had one natural colour in my hair?

Christmas was in a week and I was so excited! I love Christmas and how nice Belfast town is with all the lights and how the atmosphere is fantastic! The boys last show is tomorrow night then they are all going home for Christmas and I was excited for Tristan to be done and not so busy for the next 3 weeks! Him and Connor are coming over on New Years Eve for 5 days and I was beyond excited. Not much has happened since we last seen eachother, he has been touring and I've been busy trying to keep up with a-levels, this final year has been so tough already, I cant wait until I finish for good in June!

"Wow you do suit brown" Emma spoke as I dried the final part of my hair before letting it hang loosely.

"See, I told you"

"Especially since you've been using the sunbeds more ,you've got a natural looking tan going on, its nice" This was true, I began using the beds again and now 2 months later I was beginning to get my tan back and I was excited, every girl loves when shes tan its just so much nicer looking.

"Maybe I should get a new wardrobe and go for a whole new Shannon" I rather excitedly shouted at the idea of new clothes and shoes.

"No way, I like your look its different , you suit it"

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It's been four days since i've dyed my hair brown, since i've saw Emma, since i've been happy. Its crazy how within the blink of an eye i can change completely, i can become a whole different person, but this seems to being happening alot more recently. I sometimes go through a few days were i am completely low, i cant be around or speak to anyone, my family and Emma understand and know this, they keep their distance, but not completely staying away just incase. Tristan doesnt know this, this is only thing i've been keeping from him and it's alot harder when he is texting, calling or tweeting me. I can't be rude and ignore it and i can't be rude by telling him to leave me because then he will ask questions, questions in which i cant answer.

I haven't seen Emma, she text me yesterday so asking me if i've gotten extremely bad yet or is this time not as bad as the rest, you may not know what she means so i'll explain. When i get like this it can last for days, weeks i never know. My family and Em know i need space but they also know not to leave me completely or else it gets bad. One time i got angry and asked them to leave me, so Em went home and my family went out for a few hours but when they returned i was lying in a puddle of my own blood, since then no one will ever leave me completely.

I could go days and weeks without speaking or seeing em but she will text at least once every 3 days asking if its got the extreme were i harm, luckily i havent got to that stage yet. My mummy is more worried this time but only because Christmas is in 3 days, which is meant to be a happy, family loving event. How can it be if im like this? I know what your thinking, snap out of it? Yeah i cant. I cant control it, thats why im on tablets and have to see a therapist.