Mind linked

Save me one more time

"What are you doing right now?" She asks me. "Ehm. Nothing...I think? You know me. I never do anything."

"Yes, I do." She sighs. "Have you heard about BTS coming to Europe? I saw it all over twitter but nothing from them now." She adds, but I doesn't really follow her words, I am too focused on looking at her profile picture that I see while our skype call. Her beauty flashes me everytime.

"Sorry. What did you say?"

"You were caught up in thoughts again, weren't you? What the hell are you always thinking about?" I could never tell her. "About Yoongi." Giving short answers to hide that I am lying. "Ok, You are lying but I will get you away with it this time. But remember: when something is bothering you talk to me, Ok?"

"Promised." She cares about me a lot. She isn't this kind of friend to leave you alone when you get in trouble. She is the friend to help me get out of it. We stay in contact for so long now, about 1 year I think. She helped me through so much. My doctor even called me and asked if I succeeded or if I already killed myself. Unneccessary but, that is how she is.

"So. I heard about BTS coming to Europe."

"Yeah I heard of it too. I saw so many updates that they would come to cologne. God, please let it be true."

Suddenly my phones vibrates with the sound of BTS - Gogo. A notification of Twitter. 

"OMG! Nabi they just posted it! They are coming to cologne next month!"

"You know what this means, darling."

"Meet up with my girl! I just need to organize everything back here. I swear I will be there."

"I would kill you if not." Although I could never do this.

We ended our call and I lay back down in bed. The tickets will be on sale next monday, so 2 days left to beg my mother for 200€.  But for now, it is bed time. So I turn on the TV and fall asleep to the sound of the new K-Pop channel I found.

•••••

Everything is settled. She will come over this weekend and we will attend the BTS concert. First row, of course. I cannot spend one second without thinking about how perfect this weekend will be. I will meet her. I will finally meet her in person. I mean, we had some video calls in the last month and we chatted even more than before, but this isn't the same. I waited for this moment so long. I cannot decide if I am more excited to meet her or BTS.

"Rayn, could you please, for once, give me your attention?" My teacher looks at me with a look like he would kill me any second. "Of course, sir." Of crouse my ass. I hate this class, I am just attending it because I need to. Maths is like the most useless thing in universe. Why did I chose it as my main subject again? Ah, right, because I wanted to kill myself anyway so why not ruin my head completely before.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and a smile crosses my face as I take it out secretly to look who texted me. It was her. The guy next to me also looks on my phone and then at me. "You are into girls?" He whispers, maybe a way to disgusted. "Problem with someone being bi?" I reply, a bit too loud so some people start looking at us. "Of course. This isn't what humans are made for. We are made to keep the human kind alive and this will not work if there are people like you totally working against mother nature." He just didn't say it. "If it was your beautiful mother nature who created me why did she make me feeling like this when it isn't 'supposed to be this way'" I scream at him and now the teacher turns around too.

"Rayn! I am done with you! Leave my class now!"

"But he was the one insulting me!"

"I didn't hear anything wrong out of his mouth!" Wow. So much to fair grades. "Fine!" I shout back at my teacher, taking my bag and leaving the classroom with everyone looking at me. It feels like their gazes would kill me. They are all judging me. I was so happy they stopped bullying me by now. "Ha! Rayn is ugly, fat AND gay! Wow. You seem to hate yourself." I stopped for a second and thought about what to answer, but instead I chose to keep walking.