Angels {Oumami AU}

[#1] It's a Sin to Love You

*Please be advised that this book contains a lot of mature content. It deals with a lot of sensitive topics (listed in desc) and should not be read by someone who may feel uncomfortable by any of these issues.

I hand my boyfriend a small glass of water. He coughs and takes a sip. "Thank you, Kokichi." He hasn't drinken anything in 2 days, this is vital to him. Yep, this is a pretty rough situation we've gotten ourselves into. Our families hate us, our friends hate us, the world hates us. We have nowhere to go. We aren't welcome anywhere. We've come pretty far him and I, but we still have a long ways to go.

It's been this way forever. The very first thing you're taught in school is that homosexuality is a sin. There's no way someone could love someone of the same gender, it was labelled impossible. Growing up I always felt strange about this rule, the idea of marrying some girl one day just didn't make sense to me. When the groups of girls in my classes surrounded around the cute senior guy so would I, I was just different.

My parents recognized this, they tried to cram heterosexuality down my throat. They were trying to do whatever they could to make me even be attracted to a woman for a second. It never worked. After countless painful months they nearly gave up, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I had hoped they would just accept me for who I was, that they'd just give up on trying to change me. That's when things changed from terrible to worse.

They sent me to a conversion camp, 6 weeks of literal hell. My parents heard these camps worked miracles, so off I went. They'd beat me every night, every morning, any chance they had. I remember spending countless nights hiding under my bed, wishing it was just a nightmare. But I of course knew this wasn't true.

After the first few weeks of camp was showing no progress they became more aggressive. They would have women who worked at the camp walk around naked, if I was lucky they'd have see through lingerie. The beatings became more frequent, and more painful. I had so many bruises I couldn't count them. I would have to fall asleep listening to someone read to me about how terrible homosexuality was, how anyone who "thought" they were gay was wrong. How they were just confused, just trying to stand out in the crowd.

In my last week another boy showed up to the camp. He was a few months younger than me, and had strange hair. It was green and rough. In the night I could hear his screams of pain, of course they didn't let me talk to him but I still felt bad for him. I remember how afraid I was on my first day, though eventually I just became numb to the pain.

I left the camp never having met him, a little disappointed that we never got to meet but too ecstatic that I was finally free to care too much. When I arrived home my parents saw the bruise marks that covered nearly every inch of my skin, though they really didn't care. My dad was the first to speak up. "Glad to see they beat some sense into you." I used every ounce of my strength to resist punching him, I was so mad at him but I was too afraid of getting sent back there.

I dug my nails into my palms and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so." I spent the next 2 years pretending to have been changed, fearing being sent back. I just couldn't go back to that hellhole, and if I had to convince my parents I was "normal" for a couple years then that was what I had to do.

I remember being so happy on my sixteenth birthday. The day I was legally allowed to move out, to live by myself, to get away from them. I already had money set aside from jobs I did in my spare time, which was enough to cover rent for a couple months. I moved to a town an hour away so my parents would be less likely to come visit.

I never expected it'd come to this. Freezing, starving, in pain, just wanting to be seen as humans. Every time we walked down the streets people would step away from us, they'd pull their kids away, cover their eyes, whatever it took. I rest my head on the taller boy's shoulder. This man, Rantaro Amami, he's the only one I can trust. I close my eyes and start mindlessly speaking.
"Hey, Rantaro?"
"Yeah?"
"The world is against us."
"So what?"
"They don't believe in us."
"Who cares?"
"They think we're confused."
"Let them. They wouldn't understand anyways."
"They don't want us to be alive"
"Who said we had to be?"

I open my eyes, focusing my gaze on him.
"What are you inferring..?"
"I've been thinking about this for a while. Why should we put up with all this pain? All this hate? If all homosexuals go to hell then.. what if we go to hell together? It's probably better there anyways."

He looks at me for my opinion, clearly he's been thinking about this for a long time. I consider his plan, it does seem like it may be a better option. He sees my debate and attempts to sway me.
"I know, it's a big risk. But you're a risk I'm willing to take, if you're willing to take me."
"Rantaro... Yeah, okay."
"I'll meet you back here tonight, 3 A.M."
"See you then."

We both wave goodbye, knowing this is the last time we'll leave each other. After tonight our plan will be in action, and then we'll be together. Forever.