He f***ed me up

Week 2

/My diary/ October 2nd, 2017

Everything's been great, apart from getting very sick and being terrified of not getting a job.

It's pretty scary, but more than that - it's exciting. You feel like you own the world, yet there's moments you feel so alone and helpless. 

Impossible to deny - it's different, yet same all at once. Suddenly you have so many needs. For men, for things, for life. A ton of expectations, even more dreams than before. 

But more than anything - you're thankful. For the ones that stood by you until the very last moment. Needless to say, you also miss them.

Oh, dear week 2, it sure was wild. Not just because I finally met him, but also because I had officially gained a new nickname - trash. Needless to say, it might of been because of my tendency to make out with whomever I thought was cute. 

Yes, ladies and gentleman, it is possible to be both smart and know how to have fun. And no, you aren't allowed to judge. I just like to make out and also go for what I want. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. 

Let's quit the details of my tendency to kiss at least 3 people on a night out, shall we? 

During this week, and the following few I was going out rather often. The mixture of a throat infection, cold sore, being on period and consuming a lot of alcohol is one I would not recommend, but then again, I just had to start my new life with basically ending it. 

All of these things left their affect on my self-esteem. The throat infection, apart from making me be in pain 24/7 and having fever also made me lose my voice for most of this and the following week, apart from moments my voice would return and make me sound like a 70 year old grandpa. My cold sore, well, obviously it left an affect on my appearance which, according to all of the flatmates, could barely be noticed if I didn't point it out to everyone. And the period, yes, I am a girl, I have periods, just added to the shit I had to deal with.

In the middle of trying to maintain a social life and trying to not get hospitalised because of clearly not prioritising my health, I also had to worry about getting a job. I know what you're thinking - I had to be another one of these posh international students who are living off of their parents money. Nope, my parents made it clear it clear I'm on my own, which is what I wanted and had never had a problem with anyways, I've always been pretty independent. But let me tell you, I might of taken onto more than I could mentally or physically handle. 

But, all boring stuff aside, including my struggles of understanding the cars were riding on the opposite side in the UK and trying not to get killed by it, let's address the elephant in the room. That night.

Me and Tei had already made plans for having pre's (still couldn't understand the point of them at that point) at her friends, so we got ready and were up and ready to go when I first saw him. 

My hot, yes, hot ass, because I had just gotten ready for the night, was about to walk out of the flat when the door swung open and in walked, actually more like tripped, because the guys pushed him in, a guy wearing hella comfy clothes and the most beautiful smile. As he tripped he looked to the left where I stood and straight up he looked me up and down. 

I smirked, I'm a very confident person, as he mouthed a "wow" and kept smiling. It felt like we were stood there for an eternity, as his friends kept nudging him. 

I laughed at his behaviour as he said: "I'm gonna marry you one day."

"Sure," I replied laughing as his friends pulled him away and I walked out of the flat.