My Heart in a Box

In the Crowd

Have you ever felt alone?

Even in the midst of a crowd...

I've never felt so alone, surrounded by so many people.

Strange how that works...

One would think that the more people there are...

The less alone you feel.

But...I do believe they forget to take in consideration the inside.

For they are quick to realize the outside where the people surround me.

But alas, they have missed inside of me where there is loneliness in the depths of my bones. Chilling me with its inescapable feeling.

Let's dig deeper, shall we?

True, I have been overcome by loneliness, but what is behind that?

There is a deep, penetrating sadness. A sadness I cannot share with the world. And it is dragging me down.

But sadness is only one part of the mix. Along with it is a dangerous dose of anger and frustration.

True, sadness and frustration are a deadly combination. But I fear that there is one more ingredient...

Fear.

Fear of the uncertain future.

Fear of loosing what I love.

Fear of falling and being unable to get up.

So, now, when coupled together, sadness, frustration, and fear that I cannot share, it creates loneliness that fills me.

Now, you might wonder, how can one possibly contain such feelings around.

Sadly, it is not in the crowd where I release what I'm feeling. For they haven't the slightest clue what is brewing inside of me. For a fake smile is all it takes to conceal it all.

Alas...

My pillow will catch the tears I cry when I return home.

Hey guys,
Sorry about my recent absence! I have been away from this book for longer than I wanted. I hope this chapter was a good one to return with! Love y'all! Don't forget to tell me what you think! ❤️