A Second Chance

On the Job

16.

Olivia closed her eyes and leaned her head back once she had gotten into the cab. She felt uneasy about the way she had rushed off but she also wasn't comfortable with the way Elliot was behaving towards her. It looked almost like he was trying to forget there had been a gap of almost five years and was trying to pick up where they had left off - even taking things a bit further with these obligatory pecks on the cheek whenever they wanted to say thanks to each other. However much she wished they could go back to the way things used to be, she simply couldn't. He defense mechanism was kicking in and she felt she was starting to push him away. While they had been best friends, he had completely ignored her for years. She was patient because of his wife's recent death, knowing he had a lot to deal with. But putting on an act was not her style. Not this time anyway. She really had enjoyed their day together with the boys and seeing Noah and Eli having so much fun was a treat. Still, her unanswered questions were resurfacing now that the first emotions surrounding Kathy's death and her funeral were subsiding. If he wasn't going to address the issue, she might have to bring it up herself ... which was not something she was looking forward to.

There was little time to worry about it any further after she arrived at the station. Fin and Carisi had caught a case overnight and were bringing in a large group of women and girls that had been discovered in a warehouse and were apparently the victims of sex trafficking. They needed everyone on board to take their statements in several languages while a SWAT team was going after the traffickers. She kept busy for the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening. She was starting to feel a little guilty about leaving Noah with Elliot for so long - but then again, he knew how hectic things could get at SVU. It was her job to make sure everyone's paperwork was in order, including her own, and she listened in on the interrogation of one of the suspects for a while to get a better feel for the case.

Around 9 pm she sent Elliot a brief text message: 'Still working, sorry. Noah okay? Liv.'

He replied within ten minutes: 'All OK here. We are home, getting the boys ready for bed. Your ETA?'

She did not know when she'd be there and did not reply right away. Also, since Elliot was putting Noah to bed at his house she was probably looking at another sleepover. And she definitely did not feel like it. Not now anyway ... As the evening progressed it became more obvious that she would not be going anywhere soon. She decided to let Elliot know and called him at 10.

"Hey Liv. Still hard at work?"

"Yeah, it's a huge case. Is Noah asleep?"

"Sleeping like a log. He and Eli had a great time today. When do you think you will get here?"

She had thought about that and said: "You know, if it's alright with you, could I pick him up early tomorrow morning? Once I get out of here I would really just like to go home, take a shower and sleep."

She hoped he would understand and would not mind Noah staying with them. It was quiet at the other end of the line for a while and Olivia wondered if Elliot was disappointed. She was going to ask if he was still there when she heard him say, "Sure Liv. No problem." He did sound disappointed.

"You understand, don't you?" she asked.

"Yeah, I do. I just ... well, I had hoped to see you tonight."

Now it was her turn to be at a loss for words. Had he perhaps planned to finally really talk with her tonight? Or was it something else? After a long pause, she simply asked, "Why?"

He was silent again, as if he was debating what to tell her and what not. She heard him sigh and could picture him rubbing his eyes. She was somewhat disappointed herself when he just said "It doesn't matter. Tomorrow morning is fine. Noah is no trouble at all, we're happy to have him over."

"Thanks El," she said. "I will be there early so we won't upset your plans for tomorrow."

"That is not an issue Liv, we don't have any plans. Take your time and ... be safe."

She could not suppress a smile. That sounded like the Elliot she had worked with.

"I will. Don't wait up, I will be there early tomorrow."

She sighed after she had ended the call. Was it ever going to be less complicated with this man?

...

She hadn't told him what time she would be coming over so Elliot was up and about early that Sunday morning. He noticed he was peeking outside regularly, hoping to see her car in the driveway. The boys were still in their PJ's and he watched his son with Olivia's little boy. Eli was thrilled to have Noah around, it was almost like he had a little brother he could teach all kinds of things. Granted, the things he was teaching Noah might not all be very useful but he loved to watch them be goofy together. Also, it took Eli's mind off the loss of his mother in a positive way.
He made some coffee and hoped Olivia would get there soon. He loved having her around and wanted to hear more about the years of her life he had missed. He had come across some news items about her a few years ago. She had been missing for four days and when she was found, they had found her abductor almost beaten to death. By her. He could only imagine what had happened to her but he would rather not think about it. The guy was a rapist and a murderer and he had her for four days ...

He had not heard about it until afterwards, but he still felt he should have been there for her. He had contemplated contacting her to see how she was doing but had decided that he would probably be the last person she wanted to see. And he did not blame her. In fact, he had not expected her to be so kind to him and his family now. He did not feel he deserved her kindness. She certainly had not deserved to be treated the way he had treated her. He should at least have responded to one of her messages to let her know he would not be back. He now regretted not saying goodbye to her and he needed to tell her that. But he was afraid to tell her why he had left her the way he had. He feared that it would change their relationship forever. Her friendship had always been very important to him and he hoped there was something left between them to rekindle that. He had a feeling there was but he wasn't sure she would want it, without an explanation about how he had left her. He was even less sure after the look she had given him the day before. And would she want it with that explanation? That was the biggest question for him.

Elliot sighed and turned away from the window. Still no sign of Olivia's car. He walked to the kitchen for another cup of coffee, half-expecting to find Kathy there. He shook his head. If Kathy had still been there, Olivia still would not have been back in his life. He had made sure of that. How could he ever make it up to Olivia?

...

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