Silent Words

Scene 2

I was sitting outside on the ground, the shrinks called it the backyard. My shrink sat across from me on the ground. I liked how the ground was, dewy and relatively soft. I had what was called a laptop in my hand, that way I could answer or reply. "So, they didn't give me anything, said you were a lost case...."

"What put you in here?" She finished with a question. Already have asking about 20 questions, this was the last of today. He thought about what she had asked. He wasn't for sure what exact thing they had put him here for. There were many different possibilities, and he didn't even feel like sharing one.

*no comment*

The only reply he could give that he found himself willing to. Nothing. That was his basic reply. "Then I suppose I have nothing to go on." She replied before standing with the laptop and walking away. Staying where he was, he noticed a familiar reflection of light. Wheels, then he looked up to find a light itself. Lillian Saunders.

Not yet realizing him outside, she pulled out a book. Letting out a small sigh, he sat in the shade by himself. I got up and walked over to the track area. I used to run a mile every other day, but it's been a week. And so I started again, beginning with a slower pace than normal. I gradually ran faster, slowly reaching higher speeds.

Not once did I walk as the normal thoughts and memories filled my head. When I ran, I let everything consume me like it wanted to when I had nothing to release it with. But when I ran, somehow the pain wasn't so.... painful. The only other time I felt semi-okay were the moments I had with Lillian.

It's only been about four days since she got there. She said she was going to wait a week before opening the letter. He was okay with that, he just felt bad that she had spoken to him and he had found himself unable to give her the same thing. After I had ran the mile I did not stop, but I could barely feel anything. That was the way I liked it.

If you only feel pain mentally, why not give the same to your physical abilities? As thoughts consumed my mind, it felt like forever before I finally stopped. Breathing heavily, I realized how sweaty I was. It looked as if I had fallen into a body of water. I heard the sound of rubbing metal. That's the sound I remembered to recognize a wheelchair. I looked up. "I thought you might want a drink. You've been running for thirty minutes straight." Lillian replied with a concerned tone, but a smile plastered on her face. 

I nodded to her, taking the drink and drinking it fast. I realized my throat was terribly dry after that. Feeling faint, I looked at Lillian. The drink of water hadn't felt or tasted like anything but air. I decided that was an effect of running for so long. I tried to breathe as I suddenly couldn't feel my left arm. The ground fell from beneath me as everything faded and I fell limp.

I woke up in a room, slowly opening my eyes, the only sound was a Cardiogram. Sitting up, I looked at it. 86 bpm. That was arrythmic(Faster than normal). I suddenly felt lightheaded again and laid back down. "Somebody's awake." I heard a voice and turned to look at the doctor now standing by the hospital bed.

"I believe that this isn't right for you, especially due to your backstory and age." I looked at him, confused. "Currently, we're looking for a donor with your bloodtype, AB positive. Son, you've got a nasty case of Cardiovascular Disease. It hasn't been caught, and I assume due to your medical history that's because you rarely let anyone give you a simple check-up."

I've read about that somewhere. I still couldn't feel my left arm. "Anyways, we estimated about four months before your stops, so we're trying to get a new one." Cardiovascular Disease. His words meant it was highly deadly. I reached my right arm for the pencil and paper sitting on a desk. He placed it on a table that rolled to go over me.

I wrote a few sentences of what I had to say about it. Sort of in shock, I knew that there were people who would make a bigger difference in this world that needed the heart more than I did. "I'm not sure you know what you're doing. Let me explain it to you. Cardiovascular disease is a heart disease involving your veins. Harder to breath, harder to move. It messed with your senses, making everything work harder, especially the heart. Due to this, your heart is deteriorating. We estimated it will hold around 120 days, around four months. Are you positive that this is what you want? To donate your chance to live to somebody else?"

I nodded, I had never desired life. Not since it threw mine into a garbage can. The man got up and walked away, shaking his head. Staring at the Cardiogram, I wondered if I was out of the Mental Institution or in a hospital built inside on one of the floors. That's when I saw a note lying on the desk. I picked it up.

I saw your name was Dylan. I read your letter, I couldn't leave it alone after you took a... fall. I think if you have no desire to speak, then you shouldn't need to. Do what's best for you, that's the decision you should always make. Not what's wanted from other people. I was in here watching you for about an hour before I wrote this and left it here. I hope you get better. Nobody will tell me what's going on, or even acknowledge my presence. Anyways, I'll see you soon.           -Lillian

Sorry, Lillian, I'm far past thinking about myself. The shrink's words were correct. I'm a lost case, and I'm sure you can say better things about others needing what I need. So I won't fight them for it.