Silent Words

Scene 3

I'm currently having my third visit to the hospital, and it's been a month. Lillian and I spend a lot of our time together. She also loved the stars. Ironically, my sister did as well. So at night, we always go outside to the backyard and lay in the grass. Then I pick her up and put her in her wheelchair.

One of those times, I had to go to the hospital from taking yet another fall on the way back to our room. I tapped my fingers along the desk sitting in front of me. I still had any thoughts on my disease blocked out. I was not going to spend my last few months thinking about my death. I froze as a certain thought entered my mind. Maybe I should speak again... 

This is what I was afraid of, certain events occuring and making me think. Think about talking, think about anything. I swore never to speak again, but... But maybe this time,my words would save someone. Maybe they would help Lillian find a way out of this stupid institution. I had no idea the limits I had on where my words could get me.

But then again, this was some unexpected hope. That somehow, I could be heard without a price. Because, nobody ever got to hear my silent words. Somehow, nobody ever heard them, they never once even read them from me. Those words, they were words that could not be voiced.

Dr. Lumena walked in, my doctor. He looked at me. "Son, you're overexerting yourself a little. Your limits are very... limited." I looked at him. Then typed somethiing on the laptop I now always carried around. How can I overexert myself by walking outside and back to my room about twice a day? I don't even talk.

Staring at the screen, he sighed, "I'm not sure. But your really pushing your deadline. I don't know how, but... Maybe it's time you start thinking about a bucket list." I stared at him, then at my lap. It was my choice to be in this situation. I will soon get to see my sister again. That's the best thing that could happen to me.

Afterwards, I sat in my room, no sign of Lillian. That made the room dull, completely empty in such case. A bucket list? What did I want to do? What could I do? I've only ever been here and at my old house. Sighing, I suddenly remembered somethig from so long ago, I don't know how it still came to exist in my mind.

"You ever think we could get away from here? Like far, far away, in a place that's safe?" Lilly asked me, this was after my father had gotten drunk. Somehow, he wasn't home yet. Lilly was dancing. I cherished this moment, this was meer days before she lost any ability to do such a beautiful thing as dance. "Mom and dad would find us. We would be dead before we blinked twice!" I replied, at this time I was thinking I would never get out of here. "Well, being where we are in this situation, I'd like to say that under this roof, we've never truly lived." She replied, putting her hand up against the cold window. It was raining. I loved the sound of it, it was like rain finally escaped from the clouds and came running to us on the ground. Trusting us, something my sister and I definitely lacked for many reasons. "Abben, what do you want to do once you get out of here?" I smiled, "I'm going to bring whatever I can to this world, I'm going to put the bad people away. I want to make a difference so that nobody has to live like we do." She giggled. "Don't give up on it." Then she looked at the phone in our room. "Lilly.... What are you thinking?" She walked over to the phone and picked it up. "No, Lilly! Stop! You're going to get hurt!" Currently, my mother was in the shower, but whispering was usually as loud as our voices were ever trained to get. "Dylan, I want you to do what you can with this world, shove the bad into a cell." I looked at her, "I don't have a light to my path without...." I figured what might happen when my mother found out. 

I was shaking. I knew exactly what happened, it was a night I couldn't ever forget. The deepest amnesia would keep it in my brain. I pulled out a piece of paper. Then I searched for a writing utensil, finding an ink pen. There was something I needed to do, something I waited far to long for. I sat at the desk and, letting out a shaky breath, wrote my thoughts onto a page.

Dear Lilly,

I can't be positive about what happened to you. Everything inside me says your dead. I want you to forgive me. I told you what I wanted to do, but it's like everything disappeared after you disappeared. My light through the dark road, gone, just like that. When I was little, I was so happy to have the brightest light in the world as my sister. Even with the darkest demons as parents, you lit my way. To this day, I find I still look up to you. Isn't it funny, I never even got to see the world. But the thing is, you built my world, my life. You were right, the night you got paralyzed. Under that roof, I never truly lived. I hope you were set free. I think if you were still here, at my side, I might not be where I am. Maybe I would be making the difference I wished as a little boy, maybe I wouldn't. I'm not sure what might have happened. But I'll get to meet you in a few months... Get to see you again. Maybe then, once my spirit is set free, I'll finally get to see the world. But I'm not sure if I'll see it as it's supposed to be, or as it truly is. -Dylan