The Hero Saga: Phase One

The Hero

As aspiring soccer player Jam Sackson said "I was a FUCKING hero." His story begins on a chilly August day when the principle of Larry Meridian High school came on the intercom and said "This is a Code Red Lockdown". Jam and some of his friends start to run. They soon ran into the shooter. In less than a second, Jam unarmed our shooter and kicked him to the ground. "Good job Jam" said one of Jam's friends, before tragedy struck. In a moment of rage, Jam picked up the gun and shot our shooter 34 times in the face before Jam was tackled to the ground by a nearby student. The Shooters face was unidentifiable, although later d.n.a test revealed it was Spence Danger.

Jam was arrested for possession of a firearm within school and manslaughter. His punishment, life without parole. While in prison, Jam met Mohamed Atta (33) and Wail al-Shehri (28), members of Al-Qaeda. They saw Jam on the news and wanted to invite him on their "Jihad of the west". They told Jam that if he wanted redemption to Allah, he had to do as they said. Jam was hesitant at first, stating "Well shit, that's something I need to think about." But eventually, he agreed when he was offered 72 Virgins and a free Quran in heaven.

Now all the 3 needed to do was escape the prison. The Al-Qaeda members suggested suicide bombings, but Jam was smarter. With the simple phrase "gay people are kinda crazy now a days" the prison was in riot. This was the perfect time to escape. They easily walked through the front gate as no guards were guarding it.

Now that Jam and the two al-Queda members were out of prison, they went to a local Wendys to plan their "Jihad". They decided that Jam would run into an elementary school and blow himself up. Secretly, Jam had other plans, he would give a bomb backpack to a 3rd grader and blow it up at lunch. After they planned they went to Benns valley Elemetary school to execute the plan. Jam went in and gave his "backpack" to a 3rd grader named Micheal. He told him not to open it and bring it to lunch. At noon, the Bomb detonated, killing 74 kids and 21 staff. Jam came back to tell comrades of his success, But when he came back, the al-Queda members pointed guns at Jam. "What the frick broskis, I killed all the youngsters like you asked" proclaimed Jam. "You were supposed to die to you little chicken shit" said the al-Queda members in unison. Jam then kicked both of the guns out of their hands and killed them like he killed spence danger earlier.

When police arrived, he surrendered, stating" I did good today, stopping al-Queda, I'm a hero!"

A police officer went up to Jam and bitch slapped him saying "Nigga the fuck you mean I did good, you fucking blew up a god damn elementary school, killed a fuck ton of children, escaped prison, and converted to Islam, god damn goatfucker, All in the Same fucking day, we don't need the Judge for this one, fucking firing squad this niggas ass!"

Jam said "I'm a Fucking Hero" before being being knocked unconscious and stuffed into the back of the police cruiser.

The trial was fairly straightforward, Jam was sentenced to death by firing squad for fucking killing 74 children(shocking right). I was at his execution. His last words were "I lived a hero and I'll die a hero", before getting gunned down.