Wonderstruck (t. chalamet)

t h r e e

~ Rowan ~

Who was I kidding, I wasn't fine. After school, I was walking in the hallway when I overheard someone talking about me. The only thing I could make out was the voice of a girl saying "there's the girl that thinks she can act" and a few laughs from the people she was talking to. Without looking back at who said it, I walked quickly to the parking lot to check if my brother had arrived yet. Suddenly I started to cry. Why was I crying? I knew I couldn't let dumb comments like that get to me, but with all of the built-up anxiety from the day, even the lightest blow would knock me down.

"Rowan? Are you okay?" I heard a voice say from beside me.

Timothée? Since when did anyone care if I was okay?

Not wanting to face him I turned my head to the side and was pleased to see that my brother had finally arrived.

"Yeah I'm fine, I-uh I have to go," I stuttered as I turned around and left him there confused.

"Hey Row, how was your day?" my brother asked, not noticing the kept back emotion I had recently tried to get rid of.

"Um-uh yeah it was good..."

My brother, Ferris, didn't quite look like my brother. He was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes and I was a good height with dark brown hair and brown eyes. When I was four I was adopted by his mom and dad. At first, it was weird being around another family, but I was too young to mourn the absence of my biological parents. Ferris being eight at the time didn't like me at first, but once he realized I wasn't going anywhere, he warmed up to me.

When I got home I ran to my room and threw myself on my bed. I cried for at least an hour before I heard a quiet bing from my phone.

tchalamet has requested to follow you

What the fuck? Before clicking accept I took a moment to browse his page. Much to my surprise, he took more photos of the places and things around him than he did at parties with his friends; in fact, there weren't any pictures of him with anyone besides himself. I accepted his follow request, followed him back, and then went back to questioning my life.

You received a message from tchalamet

tchalamet: Hey!

I stared at the screen puzzled. Why was he trying to talk to me again?

rowrowan: Hi

tchalamet: Why were you crying earlier? Are you okay?

rowrowan: Don't worry about it...it's stupid

tchalamet: It can't be that stupid if it made you cry

rowrowan: why do you care? you don't even know me

I waited for a while, still staring at the screen, but there was no reply. Maybe that was rude. Maybe I should've just told him. Instead of worrying about it more, I decided to write in my journal.

Aug 29,

Today was the first day of my senior year and to tell you the truth, it sucked. My classes were normal, besides drama. I was literally forced to act out a scene with this boy where we pretended to be married; I mean it doesn't get more embarrassing than that. My anxiety was pretty under control throughout the day, but it did catch up to me. I know I need to stop letting peoples opinions affect me, but it's so hard. The only good part about today was meeting Timothée. I think I ruined my chances of ever talking to him again, but it felt good talking to someone from school for once.

I closed my journal and took a shower before climbing into bed. I thought of my mom and the song she would sing to me every night as she tucked me in. Oh, how I missed her. It had almost been four years and yet it still felt like she would come back. I shut off my light and checked my phone one last time.

tchalamet: maybe I could get to know you...