(??) draft

Prologue?

an // notes: lots of swearing, idk will probs break your heart, dw I'll make it a good ending tho, maybe mentions of depression and characters suffering from it (possibly not)
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"OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!", Dan yelled at his housemate Phil, pacing up and down the living room and tugging at his fringe.

"HEY ITS NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!", replied Phil, "EVERYTHING WAS FINE BEFORE AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN FUCKING REASON ITS ALL SHIT NOW! AND ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ME!"
Unlike dan, Phil was standing still, puffing angrily from arguments.

"OH FUCK OFF! MAYBE I SHOULD JUST FUCKING LEAVE HEY? THEN I WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM! OR MAYBE EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF I NEVER EVEN FUCKING MET YOU!" Dan screamed back. He saw a flash of hurt across Phil's face when he said that, and for a moment Dan wanted to take back everything that had happened and just hug and hold Phil like he used to. That thought vanished the moment he realised that there was no going back. This was it, they were over.

The two men were left there panting from the yelling and looking eachother in the eyes. Why did he have such beautiful eyes? Eyes that were so deep that you see the emotion swirling among the flecks of gold. Eyes that you'd get lost in and never want to escape. Eyes that you could go swimming in.

A few moments later Dan, almost hesitantly looked away from Phil's eyes and stormed to his room, slamming the door closed behind him. He threw himself into his bed, and dug his head in the pillow.

Right now Dan Howell hated Phil Lester. He hated him as much as anyone could possibly hate someone. And he hated himself too, for letting the emotions creep in at the last second. All it had been for the past years was arguments and fighting and non-stop hate. He never knew when it actually started, it just somehow grew from the small things to what it was now; thunderstorms of yelling and accusations against each other. But this time Dan had had it. He was tired of pretending to be the happy duo that was "Dan and Phil". Tired of having to pretend to be in a friendship with the person he hated the most. Tired of faking everything just to make sure that the world saw that they were friends. It had done nothing to help him. His career, maybe. All it had caused /him/ was worse depression (ask if it's ok to use it in story) and feeling the worst he ever felt before. That was why he'd made the decision that he was going to move out. It would destroy his career as a YouTuber, but it would be better than destroying himself.

They never used to be like this. They used to actually love each other. They were together, and happy. Everything on screen was genuine happiness and as much as dan wanted it back it would be impossible. Somewhere along the line they started see the worst of each other, and even though their love was still there, it was too crowded by hate and anger to be seen. It was buried deep down but neither of them had bothered to dig it up. And then they were just always fighting, maybe the issue was small and it escalated, but sometimes they were important.

Dan rolled over into his back and released a sign. The air makes his face cold, and he realised that he'd been crying. Over what? Yeah, after thinking about it he /did/ miss the old them, but his current mood of hate crowded any thoughts of actually trying to fix it. All he wished for now is that he could go back to that time when he first started watching Phil, so then he could just avoid the whole thing in the first place. So he could erase ever trace of pain that the relationship ever brought him.

Dan sighed again, he was tired. He was so tired that he fell asleep right there, fully dressed and tears staining his cheeks. He drifted of into a peaceful dreamless sleep.

* * *

Dan slowly opened his eyes blinking as the sunlight streamed through his window. Wait. Something was different. The light does fall like that in his room. Puzzled, he sits up and stretches, looking around the room.
This is not his room, at least not his current one. The walls are a browny colour, with a lighter brown colour painted around the room. A bunch of electric guitars litter the room in the corner, and next to it a keyboard. Every thing in this room is familiar, and he knows why. This is is room, but his room when he first saw Phil on YouTube.

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an // wowie this sucks it's just a draft ok and it's the prologue anyway okie yep that it like, subscribe, follow me on Facebook twitter tumblr vine (rip vine) reddit Pinterest idk k imma stop