Fuck You - Bill Skarsgard

Three

"Aren't you on your honeymoon?"

I couldn't help but respond. They had officially tied the knot in front of a bunch of paparazzi and tabloid reporters in Greece.

It wasn't Bill at all. He might have picked Greece, but he never would have chosen to fill the guest chairs with strangers with cameras and microphones. Bill was private. He liked to keep his public life and his personal life completely separate.

"I guess I am, it's not like I fucking know anymore."

I closed my eyes and tried to picture him.

He leaned against the balcony and stared out into the sea. Taking a drag of his cigarette, he looked longingly into the ocean. This had gotten so fucking far away from him. He wished he could be anywhere else but here.

"Bill?!"

He dropped the cigarette to the ground and stomped it out, she hated when he smoked, and made his way back into the villa.

"What's the plan for tonight?" He tried his hardest to seem nonchalant.

"Dinner, dancing, photos," she smiled and twirled a finger through one of her curls. "We've got so much to show them."

Bill rolled his eyes, she didn't miss it.

"You knew that this was what I wanted when you got involved with me. You fucking knew that, Bill."

He had made a big fucking mistake.

I spent the next several days trying to spend as little time alone as I possibly could. When I was alone I was thinking about him, and I absolutely didn't want to.

I split my time between the gym, my job, and my friends. As time passed, things started to get easier. As the days passed, Bill occupied my thoughts and less and less. I deleted all of my social media and felt a big weight lift off my shoulders the first day I realized that I hadn't thought about Bill as soon as I woke up.

Things were going to get better.

Things were not going to get better.

It had been almost two months and I had completely closed myself off to the world outside my own personal bubble.

I did not know that Bill was a newlywed attending marriage counseling.

I did not know that he had tried to contact me every single day because I had stopped checking my email.

I did not know that despite having so many people to support him, he needed someone now more than ever.

**

It was the middle of November in New York City and the biting winter wind was out in full force. I pulled my scarf tight against around my face and hurried toward the coffee shop.

The heat immediately warmed me as I stepped inside. A handful of customers were seated around the cafe, sipping their lattes as they started into their laptops and tablets.

I grabbed my coffee from the counter and settled into a comfortable chair in the corner of the coffeeshop.

Today was the day that I would finally check my email. I couldn't bring myself to look at any social media, but I figured that email would be safe.

I logged and scanned the messages in my inbox. A lot of them were junk, but there were a few from Bill. The last was from a month and a half ago.

"You've become a ghost but I hope you see this at some point. Things have changed."

Curiosity got the best of me and I googled his name.

"Bill Skarsgard and wife end marriage after a few short months!"

"Sources say things between Bill Skarsgard and fashion mogul have always been rocky!"

I closed my laptop and slammed my eyes shut, refusing to let the tears slip through. This was not the first time I had felt this way after seeing headlines with his fucking name in them. I couldn't help it. As much as I hated him, a small part of me still missed him so much.

When I opened my eyes, I looked toward the line of customers where the baristas were making drinks and there he was.

He didn't expect to ever see her again. It had been brought to his attention time and time again that he had fucked up.

The icy wind forced him into a small coffee shop he had not planned on entering. Heavy snow was threatening to fall and he needed something to warm him before his meeting.

The girl behind the counter asked his name and wrote it on the cup after he gave her his order. She smiled like she knew who he was but was trying to be coy.

"Bill," the barista called his name and he stepped forward and took his drink from the bar.

He turned to leave and there she was.

His breath caught in his chest and he couldn't take his eyes away from her. She was just as beautiful as the last time he had seen her.

At the moment, all he wanted to do was cry.

I broke the eye contact and scrambled to gather my things and get away from the coffee shop and Bill as fast as I possibly fucking could.

He was moving quickly in my direction. There was no way I would be able to get out the door before he could get to me. I wasn't ready to see him.

"I really never thought i'd see you again."

He was standing directly in front of me now, his tall frame hovering over me, green eyes looking into mine.

"Sorry to disappoint," I turned to leave but he gently grabbed my arm.

"Please, can we talk?"

"Bill," I ran a hand through my hair and sighed in exhaustion, "we've gone through so much."

"I know, and that is entirely my fault, please talk to me. Even if its just for a few minutes."

I didn't want to. I wanted to run away screaming and never look back but here he was. So much shit had happened between us but here was the same tall, sarcastic, hilarious, beautiful Bill that I had fallen in love with.

"We can talk at my place." I said quietly, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Our old place?" He tried.

"My place."

"As long as you'll talk to me."

We stepped out into the cold and Bill hailed a taxi, giving the driver our—my—address as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Fuck, this was probably a mistake, I thought to myself as I watched the outside world pass through the window of the taxi.