Fuck You - Bill Skarsgard

Two

I threw my head against the back of the chair and ran my fingers through my hair.

It had been several weeks since Bill and his stylist, now fiancé, had announced their engagement and I had been using alcohol and weed as a numbing agent pretty much the entire time.

I realized this wasn't healthy, but at this point, I just didn't fucking care.

I hated how he had sucked me in initially, his green eyes focusing on mine while he told me that I was the only person he could ever feel that way about. He had pulled me into a hug and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, telling me that there was no one else.

What a fucking liar he was.

I was dumbfounded when he introduced himself. I knew who he was when there was a time that almost no one did.

Taking a seat at the bar, I noticed the tall Swede nursing his drink while he scrolled through his phone.

I was nervous as fuck, but when would another chance to randomly meet someone like Bill Skarsgard happen? Probably never.

Running a hand through my long locks, I made my way toward the empty barstool next to him.

"I'll have a jack and coke," I said to the bartender.

I felt his gaze on me but refused to meet his eyes.

"You got it," the young woman spoke and threw together the drink she set before me.

I took a sip and turned my head slightly toward the him, letting him know that I knew he was watching me.

"Hi," I spoke softly, taking short sips of my drink.

"Hello," he leaned into me, his shoulder bumping against mine, "you seem like you might know me. I apologize if you don't and i'm completely out of bounds."

"I know you, but yeah, you are out of bounds." I smirked at him and grabbed his hand.

"Where are we going?"

"A place where no one knows you. Not many people know my apartment, so no one should know you there."

"Intriguing," he said, but didn't speak another word as I led him to my place.

I should have ignored him. None of this would have ever happened if I had ignored the tall blonde with piercing green eyes giving me looks.

I was certainly regretting it now. I had avoided social media since the announcement because I didn't want to hear about it.

I fucking hated Bill Skarsgard, but I fucking loved him so much.

Holding myself steady was so hard and I was barely keeping my head above water.

"I know this is hard for you. It fucking has to be."

A chill ran up my spine as I read the subject of the email. This is not what I wanted. He knew what I felt, why couldn't he just fucking leave me alone?

I chose not respond.

He wouldn't let it go. I got another email a week later.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I really do love you. I really fucking do."

That email made me sick to my stomach. After seeing it on my screen I couldn't help but spend nearly an hour retching into my kitchen sink.

This was something I thought I would never say, but I was wrong, Bill made me fucking sick.

"Please don't contact me, Bill. Don't you think you've done enough?"

I wanted to send an email that made me seem fearless but I couldn't do that.

I wasn't fearless. I was sad. I was hurt. I was broken. I loved him. I fucking loved him.

I couldn't have him.

She had him. She had always had him. She was someone that had been blending his foundation. She was someone that for the past several years, had spent hours inches aways from his face as she did his makeup.

Her breath fell softly against his face as she pressed the beauty blender filled with white face paint against his cheek.

He wanted her and he was sure of it.

He knew it was stupid because he had someone at home that he knew loved him but he couldn't get her out of his mind.

He had no idea at the time, but she was nothing, and he would soon be losing everything.

"I know I proposed to her, but I can't shake you."

The text message lit up my phone at almost 3am. In his timezone, he should have been having a blissful honeymoon.

I swallowed tears as I typed my response.

"This should be something you expect: Fuck you, Bill. Fuck you."

He responded quickly.

"I wish you would. I miss when you did."