After All This | pjm. ✔️

[14: memory]

I tried my best to keep calm. Hearing Jimin talk about the past, our past, sent chills throughout my body. He spoke of it all like it was yesterday. I felt like it was ages ago.

"I remember when we used to walk on the beaches," he said, a faint smile on his lips. "Sometimes we wouldn't go home until it got dark, but once we did my mom would give us both an earful."

The memory was so vivid, I could help but smile a little. I remembered how he apologized over and over to me, but I didn't really care. Just the idea of being with him was enough to make the scolding worth it.

"What do you remember, Y/N?" He asked, tilting his head a little to the side.

What did I remember? Too much. In fact, I retained many if not most of our memories together. They were so valuable to me. Sometimes they were all I thought about days on end.

I kept my stare fixed on the canvas, pretending to think hard about my answers.

"Hmmm, I remember when we spent our afternoons in the library, playing hide and seek between the shelves."

I heard an amused hum from Jimin. His smile became a smirk. "I cheated a lot in that game, didn't I?"

I rolled my eyes playfully, trying my best to hold back a smile. "You actually cheated in every game," I corrected. "You would keep your eyes opened as I went to go hide."

Jimin chuckled, his eyes disappearing from his cheeks. The mood lightened once more, and this time it was comforting. I could feel myself gaining more confidence with each word that was said.

"Are you almost done with your piece?" he asked.

I nodded, stepping away from my stool and studying the painting. Perhaps it needed a few more details done, but overall I was satisfied. The amount of time it took seemed to be a new record for me, especially with the few distractions throughout the day.

I looked at Jimin and motioned him over. The eagerness in his expression was all too evident, and it made me feel glad knowing that he looked forward to seeing my work.

My eyes were fixed on his face as he made his way to the painting. Would he like it? Or would he find it absolutely ridiculous? There was only one way to find out.

Jimin looked over at the canvas and gasped, his mouth becoming agape. I flinched internally, not knowing what that meant. I suddenly got the sense that it wasn't a good sign.

Oh my god—he didn't like it.

"Y/N, this is...."

Bad? Ugly? Absolutely horrible? I mentally shook my head. When did I start caring so much about his opinion?

"Ter-..."

Terrifying? Terrible? I braced myself for the worst. I prayed to the gods to help me survive.

"Terrific..."

I could feel my heart sink to the bottom of my feet. He didn't like it—he...

I paused, forcing myself to concentrate on the words he just spoke. He... liked it? My heart skipped a beat and I slowly replayed the word in my head.

Terrific.

I couldn't believe it.

"However, if you told me you were going to paint me, you could've at least asked for a better position."

I glanced at the painting, then back at him. Was he joking? He was simply laying back in the rolley chair, looking to the side and completely relaxed. It probably wasn't the best of positions, but in my opinion, this captured one side of Jimin that few people got to see.

He was rarely ever sitting still and calm, at least when we were still close. He was always up and about, taking full advantage of every second of the day to practice his dance routines. I missed the quality time we had with one another.

Even if they were scarce, I enjoyed the quiet moments we shared, although those were now full of tension. Still, it seemed like it could change for the better.

~

I looked down at my phone. There were only 10 more minutes until we left to go to see Bangtan.

Of course I was nervous. Who wouldn't be? Not only was I meeting a popular boy group, I was essentially meeting Jimin's family. I mean, talking to them through a screen was one thing, but seeing them in person? It was a privilege and a nightmare... in the best and worst way possible.

I shook my head. My feelings were once again all over the place.

Trying to distract myself, I looked around for a face mask that I could use in case there were any fans lurking around their building. I did not want to become the center of attention now, later, or ever... even though I already was in a way. I hoped that no one would look too close to the video. Who knew if ARMY were capable of enhancing a video so much, but I didn't doubt it.

I shivered. Just the idea scared me so much into having a mild headache.

After rummaging around, I found one in the bottom drawer of my nightstand. I grabbed it, making sure the dust was cleared off and pocketed it into my sweater. It had been awhile since I used one since I never really liked wearing them. They always itched.

I walked out into the living room, watching Jimin type something into his phone.

"Ready," I said, putting on a black beanie.

He simply nodded and continued to type. "Just letting the guys know we're heading out."

Within the minute we were on our way. I made sure that Gaeul had her food bowl full and that everything in the apartment was in order. We stepped outside, a cool breeze rushing through the streets. I pulled my beanie down over my ears and looked around.

"How are we getting there?" I asked, eyeing the apartments around us. I secretly hoped we were going to be taken by a car, but there was none in sight.

Jimin pulled his face mask up, looking at the other buildings as well. "I texted the staff and they said that it would probably be a good idea if we were picked up about two blocks from here, away from the neighborhood. It prevents any unwanted attention. Is that alright?"

I nodded. It seemed like a better idea, but it was still risky. It was getting close to the hour when many people liked to head out for the evening. I hoped we wouldn't get spotted by anyone, especially teenage girls.

The rain that was there before had been replaced with a warm, crisp sunshine. It felt good, but the chilly air was irritating. I rolled my eyes. Seoul weather.

We walked silently for a little over three minutes before we passed by our first group of people. Luckily, they were all boys and didn't pay much attention to us. Who knew if they even realized we were there.

We continued on, making small talk along the way. Although it wasn't about much (just the weather and the guys), it was nice listening to Jimin's voice as he explained how Taehyung got scared one night during a thunderstorm. I could tell how much he cared for his brothers, as well as those who took care of him every-

"Look over there!"

"Is that-?!"

"Oh my god!"

"Park Jimin?!"

"Who's that girl with him?!"

I whipped my head around, spotting a group of girls on the sidewalk across the street, holding out their phones and pointing them in our direction. They seemed overly happy and excited to see us, something that sent fear through my body. I froze in place, thinking immediately about the consequences.

Shit.