After All This | pjm. ✔️

[20: sleep]

Despite the continuous string of comfort-attempting comments, Jimin wasted no time rushing out of the car and into the dorm.

He half-expected to find Y/N in the living room passed out, or even in the middle of another panic attack, but there was no one there. Everything was so quiet. Had she left?

He made his way to the kitchen table, noticing that the meds were missing along with both of the notes that were left. However, the box still remained. Beside it laid the journal that he had bought the day before, seemingly untouched. He picked it up and looked it over.

He had left it in her apartment.

A part of him thanked her mother for bringing it back, but another worried that she might have read it. He shook his head. Another problem for another time.

"Ah, Jimin-hyung?" Jungkook sidled up beside him, looking towards the hallway. "She's in the room... sleeping."

"Sleeping?"

The younger nodded and they made their way over to the others. They were already huddled around the doorway, peering into the dimly lit room.

"Do you think she feels better?" Taehyung whispered.

"I'm sure she does," replied Namjoon. "Should we wake her up?"

Jin quickly interjected. "No. Let's wake her up once dinner is ready. Just keep clear of the room. Jiminie can watch over her for now."

Everyone hummed in agreement and cleared out of the doorway, looks of concern on their faces.

Yoongi decided to take a few hours to work in the studio so he left with Namjoon soon afterward. Jungkook and Taehyung were assigned dinner duty, which was received with complaints until Hoseok offered to help. Jin stayed and leaned against the wall, eyeing Jimin. There was a groan followed by a few mumbles.

"Spill it out, hyung."

"If you two plan to settle things, it would be a good idea to do it after dinner," Jin said sternly. "She'll be leaving today. If you can't make it work then you'll never be able to, at least not anytime soon."

"I'm trying," Jimin said quietly. "But I don't think she wants anything to do with me, especially after what happened. Did you see the fear in her eyes? She was terrified."

"That is all the more reason you should try to get close." There was a clear sign of disapproval in his voice. Jimin couldn't help but wince at the tone that he was using, but a part of him needed to hear what they older had to say. He needed advice—badly.

Images of the early morning's events had haunted his mind the majority of that day. He had never seen anything like it; sweat covering her neck, streaks of tears on her cheeks, and her expression... completely lifeless. He was only grateful that he decided to stay in the living room with her after she fell asleep, but was that all he was good for? Was that all he could do? Just take care of her physically?

"Jiminie, she's suffering. Look what has happened to her in the last forty-eight hours. Seeing you was enough for one day, but now she's national news. I'm surprised that you're not reacting the same way she is. You seem to be very... calm."

Jimin sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. "It's the shock, but I guess I can blame that on myself," he said, looking into the room at Y/N. All of a sudden he felt a sense of guilt as if someone just dropped the world's burdens on him. Was this what he was supposed to feel?

"Tonight," Jin whispered. "Or else you won't have another chance. She used to be your best friend. Give her the comfort that she's been longing for six years now."

With that, Jin made his way down the hall and to his room, leaving Jimin standing beside the doorway. He tightened his grip on the journal in his hand.

Six years.

Jimin walked into the room and closed the door, watching Y/N as she slept. Her frame was curled up under the sheets, her steady breathing filling up the silent room. Calmly.

He couldn't lie. There was always a part of him that felt lost, but he unconsciously filled it with the love of those around him. It wasn't a bad thing; it just suddenly became an even greater loss. Not just for him, but for her. He could only imagine the pain she must have endured through those last years. Now that she was with him, it all just crumbled down. How were they supposed to fix it?

Quietly, Jimin walked up to the bed and noticed a small book opened with a pencil on top of it, laying beside her arm.

He peered down to get a closer look. One of the pages was scribbled on with doodles and words while the other had a half of a face sketched out on it. All he could make out was the hairline and a portion of the mouth, smiling.

Trying his best not to wake her, he gently picked the booklet up, looking at the person who she was sketching. Almost immediately, his eyes widened:

It was himself—his younger self.

Six years ago.

——————

I heard the hitch in his breathing once he picked the book up. I didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or upset, but either way, I definitely wasn't okay. I just wanted him to see how much I missed him—how much I missed spending time with him. It's true that I was mad, but I needed to let it go.

After a minute, he set the booklet back down against my arm. I made sure not to move, keeping my face buried in the pillow.

I heard him sit on a chair beside the bed, beginning to write something down. Was he writing in the journal? I couldn't tell, but I continued to stay quiet.

While the boys were gone, I remembered what happened the night before. The dream... no, the nightmare, is what caused everything. The unexplainable fear of losing everything—of losing him. How could such a thing get to me?

The fact that I didn't have my meds was a big part of it, but there was something else. I couldn't point it out exactly. Who knew if I ever would be able to; however one thing was certain: I made up my mind about what I wanted to do... for good.

For the better.