Make Me Love You

Samantha

In a very short amount of time, I begin to trust Ky. My background is deeper than what he seen in that apartment. He doesn't know about how I lost my virginity, or even how bad my mama fucked up my mindset. I'm a thief, I'm a liar, a criminal, I'm a hoe.

I starred blankly into the mirror before me. I saw nothing there. I don't see a women, I see a broken little girl.

Although I never show it, I deal with depression. The type of sadness that old folks talked about back in my hood. I'm eventually taken over by all of my past, and I begin to sink.

Ky knocked on the door and swept his way in the room. The room was messy, the windows were covered with the blanket from the bed.

Ky didn't say anything to me. My head hung low over the vanity. I have days like this where I deal with inner aggression, that I can't control.

Tears slowly fell down my face.

"Remy." Ky says softly. "What's wrong?"

"Ky, just leave-just leave me alone."

"Whatever it is, we can handle it. Don't cry." Ky kept his distance, but he remained sincere.

"Ky it's not that simple. You don't know who I really am," is all I managed.

Well you know who I am, so you can tell me who you are." He crept closer to me.

"Ky you can't love me. You won't love me once you really get to know me. I've been showing you this perfect girl I'm not. You can take me out the streets, but you can't take the streets out of me."  I expressed.

"Where is all this coming from Remy?" Ky was now completely confused, but I didn't want to keep explaining.

"Ky I'll be downstairs in a minute, okay?" My tears stopped coming. I had to pull myself out of that sunken depression.

"Look." He brushed his fingers against my face to get me to turn to him. We met eyes as he said, "I have a shaky past too. Whatever it is, I know you still gone make me love you." He smiled.

I smiled a little too, " we shouldn't be talking about love Ky. I like you but-."

"But we're too young." He interrupted with a shrug. "I know, I get." He said understandingly.

"Thank you Ky. For not using me." I said hesitantly.

"Your a diamond in the making. I saw a girl that needed help, so I helped." Nonchalant he said.

"I saw a man that needed some company out there on that cold ground." I smiled back at him.

"Remy, we gone make it." He fist pounded me.

The doorbell rang, and it stopped our moment.

"Come downstairs whenever your ready." He left to fetch the door.

There was a weight lifted off my shoulder. Since I've walked through his door, I felt like I owed him. It was like I went back to street mentality.

I picked my head up though. I uncovered the darkened windows. I begin to clean up the messy room.

Ky re-entered the room as I cleaned.

"Your mom and Vennie are downstairs." Ky says.

My body temperature rose quickly. 'Why are they even in the same room together'  I scoffed aloud. 'How and why do they know where I am?'

"Ky, you told them? Why are they here?" I asked angrily.

"I ain't told them shit. Just go see what they want." Ky walked back downstairs.

I walked downstairs after him. Once I saw the both of them, I instantly got pissed.

My mama looked the same, and Vennie did too. I stood halfway down the steps. "Wassup"

"Girlll- get yo' ass down here and talk to me like a grown ass women. You took my money like you grown. You left my house like you were grown. You fuckin' up my business Remy." She tagged me with the stank eye.

I ran back upstairs. I went straight to the black trash bag I brung to Ky's house. I found the lil' money I took and took it back to her. I threw it right in front of her feet.

"I didn't even use that money." I threw it down at her.

A year ago, I would've been scared of this lady, but now she don't faze me.

She got so angry that she charged at me. I didn't flinch, not anymore will she use and abuse me. Vennie held her back.

"Everybody stay calm," Ky announced loudly. He stood between my mother and I. "Why are you here?" He ask my mama.

"I'm here to get my daughter back." She snatched away from Vennie. "We got shit to do Remy, you got unfinished business."

"Samantha, I'm done. I'm out that lifestyle." I said slowly and clearly.

She stepped to me quickly. Vennie attempted to hold her back, but she snatched away from him.

She spoke in a low angry voice, "You done let this lil' nigga get in yo pussy for free, cause he got a couple dollars? Guess what? He's a drug dealer, he will be fuckin' another young dumb duck who's looking for a come up. The other men out there are willing to give us rent money for what you got. You waisting time with this drug dealer who spent all his money on some TV's. Don't be stupid."

"Going back to you is any better? You sold my virginity as a birthday gift. You sent me to stores to steal because you couldn't get yourself together and support us the right way. Your clients have taken advantage of me. What kind of mother are you? You brainwashed me for so long. Told me the busses don't come to our house, but you wanted me at home so I can be your sex slave. You sold my body-."

I paused because I was beginning to choke up. She still starred me deep in my eyes though. "You sold my body seven times." I screamed to the top of my lungs. "Seven!" My knees started to loosen when I thought about those miserable days. "Why aren't you done with me? I have nothing to give! I'm used!" I tried to keep my head up while tears stream down my face.

"You are such a fuckin' drama queen. You did that." She stops yelling and calms herself. "Because we needed a better way of living."  She says soothingly.

"We didn't need to do it that way." I say back angrily.

"You didn't have to do those things Remy." She stomped her foot when she yelled.

"You made me! Every time I told you no, you beat me down, or you'd lock me in that damn room." I cried loudly. "I'm tired." I screamed and walked off.

Now, Ky knows why I didn't want to tell him about my past, and that's just the half of it. That's just the half of me.

I walked off to the kitchen to take a breather. It felt good to say no. I felt like she finally lost, and I finally did something right.

Vennie fussed at Samantha in the living room.

"Why would do that to our child. Our fucking daughter!" Vennie stormed out the house, and I believe she followed.

When Ky came to the kitchen, he just starred at me.

For some reason, I fell to knees. I felt so fucking defeated, I felt so stupid, and now he knew that I was a hoe just like the rest of the women that came out of my hood.

He rushed over to me and just held me. He didn't say a word. It was like he just accepted me.

"Remy I told you, we gone make it."