1984 – "Victory" Tour
MICHAEL
Maybe someday, you'll see my face among the crowd.
Maybe someday, I'll share your little distant cloud.
Oh, cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore.
You're the only girl my heart beats for.
How I wish that you were mine...
("My Cherie Amour" by Stevie Wonder, 1969)
Kim surprised me by visiting after one of the concerts. I even suggest that my brothers leave immediately afterwards. I wanted to be alone with her so badly. We weren't going to be physical, though. I respected this woman too much and we still barely knew each other back then. After embracing, I finally sat down on the sofa with her. Neither of us chose beverages from the nearby minifridge.
For once, Kim didn't wear a ridiculous ensemble to blend in for Prince. This short-sleeved top nearly fell off both shoulders. Black pants hugged to show off curves. Boots clicked along the floor just moments earlier. Kim selected hoop earrings once more. A dark shade rounded her lips. A backstage pass drooped around her neck.
That woman smiled, and my heart pounded all over again.
"Did you have fun tonight?" I asked, grinning this time. Kim nodded right across from me. I didn't know what to think of the timid behavior, but guessed exhaustion in one way or another. Otherwise, she would've beamed in every moment. When I noticed her backstage, that smile proved infectious. In that moment, she lowered her eyes and quickly yawned to herself. I understood.
"Yeah, it was great. You guys still know how to work a show...Sorry, I've got a long flight ahead of me tomorrow morning and Prince has rehearsal for us again. I can't ditch these. By the way, we should start touring before Thanksgiving." Kim faked one more smile. As if the rehearsals were more important. She couldn't even concentrate on this moment with me. But at least Kay apologized right now.
"No problem. Where are you going first?" I grinned weakly. Maybe changing the subject would've kept her interested. Once again, I didn't know what to think. Music bonded us anyway. I just wanted to see her smile around me this time. Without mentioning anyone else. No Prince. Not even Brenda. And that was another story altogether. But, I kept my mouth shut right now.
"Detroit. No matter where we go though, I'm excited." Kay bit her bottom lip. I'd finally reached the jackpot once more. I didn't even want to leave the couch as she ran through all the possibilities. Prince deemed unpredictable, but Kay loved the musicality regardless. This woman usually between keyboard bandmates Lisa and Matt onstage. Or alternatives took place depending on the situation. I eventually found out that she'd finally perform at the Grammys next year. My thoughts could only imagine her joy.
"Congratulations. Best of luck to you guys on the tour. Seriously." I masked the returning jealousy that pounded in my heart right. Once again, she'd leave. I didn't want to scare her away by expressing feelings. Especially during such an inopportune time. I'd still tour, and she'd eventually leave my side months from now. Off to revel in funk and lewd madness.
"You too, Mike. And don't worry. We could see each other again. Just buy a ticket." Kay winked and stood after shaking my hand with a bangle on her left wrist. She joked, but I almost felt disappointed. My only forms of seeing her again involved flipping through television stations. Or reading magazines. Or calling a phone number. Or, worst of all, buying a ticket for my rival's concert.
__
At three in the morning, insomnia kicked my ass once again. The rest of my brothers were sound asleep. I couldn't even vent to anyone right now. Lying awake to stare at the ceiling, I thought of Kay once more. As I've said, she beamed the during concert and looked so beautiful. Dolled-up, but not too flashy. Just right. My heart fluttered in this cliché way. I couldn't even turn on the television to distract myself. Either the press would've judged me, or Prince would've flashed into my eyes with his upcoming chaos.
Fed up with hiding these emotions toward Kay, I wrote down everything possible. Silence haunted me in this hotel room. I scribbled almost frantically on stationery paper. There was no different option. Otherwise, I'd probably explode. In the end enough was enough.
Kimberly,
I don't want to scare you away at all, but you're all I think about. I can't even perform onstage without closing my eyes and viewing your smile. I want to make you happy. I want to BE happy again. I don't trust many anymore, but I can see myself with you. I could wake up every day to that beautiful face and never grow weary. You're precious in a world full of self-centered people. I've done wrong, and for that I apologize. But you've now become my weakness. Please give me a chance. Even though I'm still disappointed by heartache, my soul can only heal because of you.
Baby, I promise that we can be something special. I will never let you down.
I want you.
I need you.
I crave you.
I love you.
-Michael.
Give your love.
Oh, give your love your tears and pain.
I will be your shelter through the rain.
Through the storm, my love for you won't change...
("Give Your Love" by Stevie Wonder, 1969)
