1985 – "Grammy Awards" (California)
MICHAEL
I longed for you since I was born.
A woman sensitive and warm.
And that you were.
With pride and strength no one would test.
But, yet have feminine finesse.
And so much more...
("Rocket Love" by Stevie Wonder, 1980)
I found Kay standing right next to Shelia E. These ladies both sported flamboyant and regal jackets. White and ruffled blouses covered their bodies in unison. Shelia quickly excused herself from us and danced far away. I didn't know what to think while Kim flipped back one side of her curly hair. The style almost obscured part of her face. Music continued rumbling and glasses toasted around us.
"Congratulations to the band. You guys sure know how to perform. I'll give Prince that." I stepped closer to address this woman, but remained distant. Fellow celebrities waved, but I nodded and grinned out of habit. I'd rather concentrate on the person who jumbled my entire mind right now. She looked gorgeous without a dress. An up-tempo song already began playing. At the time, Stevie released another brilliant album. Synthizers and keyboards warbled throughout "I Love You Too Much."
When you say those words of love to me.
It makes me feel so good inside.
But when the sunshine comes, and you must leave.
It only leaves me with my own foolish pride...
"Thanks, Michael. We were a little agitated by the crowd storming onstage, but it was too much fun otherwise." Kim responded to me, but I knew that her smile wasn't genuine. My heart still pounded regardless. I didn't know whether to confront Kay about the note I mailed to her. I could only imagine what crossed her mind at this point. Still, this place wasn't suitable for that private conversation. In short, I needed a drink or something.
"You're welcome." I bravely concentrated on Kay once more. My steps refused to walk away. For once, I decided to evade arrogance. Music changed, but I didn't recognize the song. Awkward silence fell between us as I struggled to find another talking point with Kay. That woman even glanced around this crowded venue, shrugging.
Slowly, I blew my chance to admit feelings. We hadn't even talked on the phone lately. Again, I missed her. Right now, she could've been my best friend, but I ruined things. It wasn't long before I decided to leave the dance floor and she suddenly followed. I wasn't trying to control her, but it was odd to see Kay submit to me in one way or another. We cornered at one of the lavish tables and sat across from each other.
"I wanted to talk to you about something important, girl." I finally swallowed pride and slowly began to admit feelings. Across from me, Kay titled her curls and narrowed those perfect brown eyes. My heart pounded for the millionth time. A lump even formed in my throat by now. Celebrities once again jam-packed this section and laughed and chatted nearby.
"What's wrong?" Kay whispered. I sighed out loud given the circumstances. I wanted to remain calm, but this one moment could've shifted everything between us. First, I'd ask if this woman had read my love-admission note. If she felt the same about me, I could sleep at night with love in my heart. She was my everything, no matter how many times we bickered.
"Have you read my letter?" I lowered my voice to highlight importance. She meant the world to me and her opinion was everything. As I've said, this woman deserved respect in one way or another. I refused to play games anymore. In that moment, Kay shook her head. I didn't know what to think, but considered the worst. Nearby, Prince and Brenda oddly whispered to each other, observing us every now and then.
"I read it and you're probably lying on paper. A real man tells me face to face that he's in love. How am I supposed to know you're telling the truth? You can't just..." Her ranting voice trailed off when I leaned across the table and kissed this woman. Passionately. I couldn't take my own prude behavior anymore.
After I pulled away from her lips, the entire section cheered. I immediately blushed, covering my face. Even Prince and Brenda dropped jaws nearby. Joyous applause rang through my ears. Kay shook her head when I finally turned my hand away. But a smirk ran across her face in the dim light. I couldn't help grinning once more. Again, her thoughts crossed my mind.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. That was absolutely inappropriate." I immediately apologized afterwards. The neighboring superstars calmed down. I understood in one way or another. Yet, Prince and Brenda whooped together as if Kim and I scored a sports game goal. The couple expressed sarcastic happiness every time I looked back and forth. Kim rolled her eyes across the room. I almost groaned out loud this time.
Kim wouldn't speak once more and leaned in to kiss me now. My knees should've buckled at the table. Her lipstick tasted so wonderful that I nearly lost control of the situation. In that moment, I pulled back. Underneath dim lighting, she bit her bottom lip. Our own gazes locked toward one another. As I've said, this woman looked beautiful.
It took everything in me to remember logic. I nearly ignored longtime values. I'd never sleep with a woman just because. I wanted to ensure that someone wouldn't betray me once more. I'd never forgive myself if the press hounded me over unnecessary mistakes. I wasn't stupid.
Still, this was real between us.
"I guess you've finally made a point, Michael." Kim winked and nodded.
