Average Jane |Lesbian Story|

Chapter 18

On Monday morning Jane awoke with a vague sense of uneasiness. But she couldn't think of anything to be uneasy about. She had survived Valentine's Day. She had collected all the data for her science project. Emily had come over on Sunday, and they had watched a really funny movie. It had almost seemed like old times.

So why should Jane feel weighed down with worry?

She was obviously forgetting something important – and terrible. But what?

She was halfway to school before she remembered.

The Valentine poem.

She had taken care not to sign her name, but she had forgotten to disguise her handwriting. Jane had very distinctive handwriting – square and blocky, almost like printing when someone had left the caps-lock on. It had been the source of many teachers' complaints, but old habit dies hard.

If Ms. Anderson had the slightest bit of curiosity about the poem, she'd be able to figure out who had written it from the handwriting alone. She already knew that Jane and Emily had searched out her apartment the other day. Now she would know that she was the author of the Bunsen-burner poem as well. Great.

Was that so terrible?

Yes.

Jane didn't want Ms. Anderson to be grossed out by her. She didn't want her to think of Jane the way she thought of Lucy. She wanted her to think of her as a promising young scientist, not a promising young perverted, poetry-writing stalker.

In the science class, first period, Grace seemed the same as always, though when she spoke to Jane her voice sounded even more gentle. But perhaps that was because she was using it to make a special request.

"Boys and girls, we're going to be working at the lab tables again today. Mary, would you and Emily be partners? And Jane, why don't you be partners with Lucy?"

Great. Just great.

Now she was Lucy's partner in math and science. Jane knew why Ms. Anderson had reassigned the lab partners: She didn't want Mary spending the whole class period teasing Lucy about not being able to light a Bunsen burner. Once again she had cast Jane in the hero role, so once again she had no choice but to be a hero.

At the lab table, Jane lit the burner, sort of like the lead in an old movie lighting a cigarette to hand to the woman he loved. Only Jane was lighting it for Grace and handing it to Lucy. So to speak.

The others teased Lucy anyway.

"Lucy? Can we borrow your matches?" That was Jonas, from the table next to them. "Unless you're afraid to touch the matchbox, too."

Jane handed Jonas the matchbox in silence, without dignifying his remark with a reply. She sometimes wondered why some people were so mean. She had met Jonas's dad a couple of times, and Mr. Ryan was mean, too. So maybe Jonas thought that was how you had to act to be a man.

As the bell rang, Ms. Anderson again asked Jane to stay for a minute. Private after-class chats with her were becoming a routine.

"Jane, I hope you don't mind that I asked you to work with Lucy."

Jane shook her head. She tried to strike a gallant pose.

"I think you have a lot to offer Lucy. And she might have something to offer you, too."

Like endless love until her doom, Jane thought glumly, but she kept the gallant, heroic look on her face.

"Lucy is such a talented poet...you write poetry, too, don't you, Jane?"

Jane shook her head again, more emphatically than before, but she felt the color rising in her face, and she couldn't meet Ms. Anderson's eyes.

"Well, anyway, thank you, Jane."