Average Jane |Lesbian Story|

Chapter 21

The science fair was over. The judges had gone, but Jane still hovered by Lucy's display. People had already filed out from the gym. Jane had waited until Lucy went to the bathroom. Jane looked around herself to check if anyone was looking, but there were just a few groups of students and teachers talking among themselves.

Jane quickly took a look at Lucy's poem 'Snow Bird'. Of course, it had nothing about romance. It was about a bird rejoicing over the winter, because no cage with bars keeps her from walking on the snow, imprinting it with her tiny feet.

Jane was actually impressed by the imagery expression and creativity. Lucy Adams was indeed a talented poet. If only she had won a real contest and not that dumb one from Jonas and Mary. Jane felt the guilt kicking in again, and without thinking, she reached out and plucked the poem from the display and tugged it into her pockets. She didn't know why she had to steal it. Something made Jane want to keep it.

Lucy was walking back to her display. Jane turned and walked away before Lucy could see her. Jane heard Lucy calling her name, but she pretended she didn't hear. She didn't know what to say to Lucy. She felt a stab in her heart every time she looked at her.

That day, as Jane walked home from school on the snowy streets, alone, her thoughts bounced back and forth, as if some crazy Ping-Pong game were playing itself out in her head.

Ping! Jane had had the best science fair project in the first-period class.

Pong! Jane had had a terrible fight with her best friend and probably would never be friends with her again.

Ping! Jane heard Grace Anderson's voice saying, 'Oh, Jane!' after she finished her practice presentation.

Pong! Jane heard Lucy's voice saying, 'My poem? The one on the display? It just won a prize!'

At home, she tried to read a book to try to settle down, but after a while, she closed it and just lay on the living room couch, staring at the ceiling.

Would she win the science fair? The judges had definitely acted impressed by her project, but not as impressed as Ms. Anderson or her classmates. Maybe the judges tried hard not to act too impressed.

What if Jane won for her grade and Caroline didn't win for hers? After leaving Emily, Jane had walked over to Caroline's booth in the senior section. Caroline's display had been perfect, and her experiment was so brilliant and complicated that Jane couldn't understand half of it. But Jane had noticed that nobody was hanging around Caroline's booth the way kids had hanging around hers. Maybe the judges didn't care whether your project had crowd appeal – but maybe they did. Jane's victory would be hollow if she couldn't share it with Caroline. She wished she was sharing with Emily.

Jane even wished she could share it with Lucy.

Lucy.

What would it be like to think you had won a contest and your dream had, at last, come true, and then find out that your victory – and the whole contest – was just a nasty joke for people to laugh at?

Jane felt horrible about herself all over again.

At dinner, Jane's mother said, "So tell me all about the science fair! I want to hear every detail!"

"It was all right," Jane said. The answer wasn't very detailed, so she added, "the people seemed to like my thing pretty well."

"I'll say!" Caroline took a big swig of milk to wash down a mouthful of meatloaf. "It was a mob scene over there."

"What about the judges? Do you think they liked it?" her mother asked. Then as if she was afraid she was putting too much pressure on Jane to win, she said, "It's wonderful that you could get the others interested like that. That speaks very well of your experiment. Wouldn't you say so, honey?"