Average Jane |Lesbian Story|

Chapter 23

Mr. Monroe read the names of all the science fair winners during morning announcements. Caroline's name was first. Jane didn't know any of the tenth-grade winners; she felt foolish for ever having dreamed she could be one of them.

On top of that, the report cards would be handed out at the end of the day. Great.

Lucy didn't speak a word to Jane during science class. In fact, she didn't even look at Jane at all. But at least she lit the Bunsen burner for the day's experiment, as calmly as if she had been lighting Bunsen burner all her life. Nobody called her stupid. But Jane's triumph over the Bunsen burner was empty now.

She wanted to talk to Ms. Anderson after class, to try to explain to her why Lucy had been crying, but the teacher was deep in conversation with Mr. O'Hara. And besides, what was there to say? The truth was as awful as anything that Ms. Anderson could be imagining. And this was Ms. Anderson's last day at her school. Whatever she thought about Jane now she would think about it forever.

Even in math class, during Peer-Teaching, Lucy didn't talk like she used to. And Jane felt worse than ever. She never knew that she could miss that chatty Lucy so much. Emily wouldn't speak to her at lunch either. Jane had never known that simple silence could make someone extremely miserable. It was like being shut inside a room with four blank walls until you go mad. 

At the close of eight periods, everyone returned to homeroom to get report cards. Jane glanced quickly at hers to see if there was anything on it that she needed to worry about showing her parents. Then she looked at it again.

For the first time in her life, she had gotten three A's: one in science, one in math, and one in English.

Her work in English hadn't been that great: Ms. Reeds must have been trying to apologize to her for her accusation. But she had definitely done good work in science and math, thanks to Grace Anderson — and to Lucy. 

What she would do to make Lucy talk to her again.

Jane hadn't planned on passing by Ms. Anderson's apartment on her way home from school. But after she had walked through the park and passed her old elementary school, and passed the public library, she seemed to find herself at the Alfalfa Lane.

Jane checked— the red Honda wasn't there. She stopped and looked around for a place where she could watch the entrance at Apartment H16 without being seen. There was a playground on the far side of the apartment lot. She could hang out there for a while and duck behind the climbing equipment if she saw her coming.

At the park there was only one other kid, another big kid, sitting alone on one of the swings. The kid looked up as Jane approached her. It was Emily.

To Jane's relief, Emily grinned at her shamefacedly. "You, too?"

Jane returned the grin and sat down on the swing next to her.

"Uh-huh," she admitted. "I guess I can graduate as a full-time stalker now."

Emily laughed.

"Her last day," she said, her voice appropriately funeral.

"I know."

For the next few moments, neither one spoke. 

Then Emily said, "I get it now. It was all because of Grace — science fair project, and the book report, and everything."

"Sort of," Jane said. Even as she said it, she knew it was only partly true. At first she had wanted to win the science fair for Grace, but in the end, she had wanted to win it for herself. "I didn't win, though."

"You should have. I thought for a sure you were going to."

"But I didn't." Jane hesitated. "So can I still be vice president of Loser Club?"