Helena Stark: A WWII Widow

chapter four: Rasserena

"Faster ladies, come on. My grandmother has more life in her, God rest her soul." Agent Carter said. "Move it!" She shouted at them as the men did pushups and jumping jacks. I watched from a corner as Mr. Rogers looked like he was going to pass out.

"You're not really thinking of picking Rogers, are you?" Colonel Phillips asked.

"He's more than just thinking about it," I said.

"It is a clear choice." Dr. Erskine said.

"When you brought an asthmatic onto my army base. I let it slide. I thought what the hell. Maybe he could be useful to you, like a gerbil. Never thought you'd pick him." Phillips said as we watched Mr. Rogers. "Stick a needle in that kid's arm, it's going to go right through him."

"Come on, girls." Agent Carter called out.

"Look at that. He's making me cry." Phillips said in disgust as we watched.

"I am looking for qualities beyond the physical." Dr. Erskine said dismissively.

I nodded in agreement. "Besides, once he has gone through the affects, he will not be a ninety-pound asthmatic anymore. He'll be a super soldier, it won't matter how athletic he is now, what will matter is what he does with these new abilities.

"Do you know how long it took to set up this project," Phillips said trying a different approach.

"Yes." Dr. Erskine and I said with an eye roll.

"All the groveling I had to do in front of Senator what's-his-name committees."

"Yes, I know. I am well aware of your efforts." Erskine said.

"Then throw me a bone," Phillips exclaimed. "Hodge passed every test we gave him. He's big, he's fast. He obeys orders, he's a soldier."

"He's a bully." Dr. Erskine added.

"You don't win wars with niceness, Doctor. You win wars, with guts." Colonel Phillips said as he pulled out a dummy grenade and pulled the pin. "Grenade!" He shouted as he threw it towards the group of men. I huffed at his action as all of the men scattered.

Except for one.

"Stay away. Get back." Mr. Rogers shouted as Agent Carter ran forward, he covered the grenade with his small body as he waved people away, yelling for them to stay away.

"Phony grenade." Someone shouted.

"Men, back in formation."

"You said you wanted someone with guts," I told Phillips with a look.

"Is this a test?" Mr. Roger asked looking around.

"He's still skinny." Colonel Phillips said as he walked away.

***

Almost everyone was gone, tomorrow we are going to do the 'procedure' as Dr. Erskine was calling it. With there not being many people here, I thought now would be a good time to read the letters from the Army about my husband's death...

MRS. ROSA,

THE SECRETARY OF WAR DESIRES ME TO EXPRESS HIS DEEP REGRET THAT YOUR HUSBAND MAJOR RAFAEL J ROSA WAS KILLED IN ACTION ON TWENTY DECEMBER 1939 IN MOKRA POLAND.

Attached there was another letter, but it was larger and looked more personal.

Dear Mrs. Rosa,

I was the general who commanded your husband Rafael J. Rosa, he was a good man who fought with his all. He was attacked on the nineteenth of December, 1939 and went missing. From an inside source, we have found that he died the next day. He was gravely wounded, but saved many lives that day. Mine personally. I regret to inform you of his death all of these years later. If you ever need anything, just ask for my name.

Sincerely,

General Bradley

P.S. He was planning on giving you this poem that he heard for Christmas.

Ecco mormorar l'onde,

E tremolar le frondeA l'aura mattutina, e gli arboscelli,E sovra i verdi rami i vaghi augelliCantar soavemente,E rider l'Oriente;Ecco già l'alba appare,E si specchia nel mare,E rasserena il cielo,E le campagne imperla il dolce gelo,E gli alti monti indora:O bella e vaga Rita,L'aura è tua messaggera, e tu de l'auraCh'ogni arso cor ristaura.

~•~

Now the waves murmurAnd the boughs and the shrubs tremble in the morning breeze,And on the green branches the pleasant birdsSing softlyAnd the east smiles;Now dawn already appearsAnd mirrors herself in the sea,And makes the sky serene,And the gentle frost impearls the fieldsAnd gilds the high mountains:O beautiful and gracious Aurora,The breeze is your messenger, and you the breeze'sWhich revives each burnt-out heart.

I closed my eyes tightly as I put down the papers. He's been dead for years, he's been dead and I didn't even know. I picked up the letters again and read through them as tears slowly fell down my face. For years, Howard has been asking me to move on, to just accept that Rafael was not coming back, but I just couldn't accept it.

I heard a knock, followed by Agent Carter's voice. "Ms. Stark, may I come in."

"Of course," I said as I wiped the tears from my face, unfortunately, my voice cracked.

"I just wanted to check in with you about tomorrow's events." Agent Carter said, but then she stopped when she saw me. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine," I said softly as I put the letters into a bag by my bed.

"It's alright if you would rather me come back later." Agent Carter said pointing to the tent entrance flap.

I shook my head as I laughed, "it's really not a big deal Agent Carter."

She looked at me concerned as she sat next to me on my bed. "Call me Peggy"

I smiled, "then I must insist that you call me Helen or Helena. Whatever you would prefer."

"Well, Helen it is then," Peggy said with a smile.

"So what brings you here?" I asked.

"Well, I was supposed to escort Mr. Rogers to the facility. However, they want me there beforehand. From what I was told, you have already gotten everything done on your end. Something about how your brother lost a bet I believe..."

"Yes, Howard is not allowed to drink, or have women over for a month," I said triumphantly.

"What would you have to do if you lost?" Peggy asked curiously.

"Go on a date," I mumbled.

"I thought you were married," Peggy said.

I handed her the papers I finally possessed the courage to read. "Widowed."

Peggy read them over quickly before she looked at me sadly. "I'm so sorry, how long have you known?"

"A few weeks, I hadn't gotten the courage to actually read that until today though."

"Would you like to talk about it? Or I could leave as well." Peggy said.

"It's all just a lot to process. I've been a widow for over two years, I just never allowed myself to even think that he was gone. My daughter, she always thought he would be coming home." I said softly.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure you always do then," Peggy told me as she gave me a hug.

***