Helena Stark: A WWII Widow

chapter seventeen: Remember

For the next few months I worked to save Bucky's life, I couldn't let him die. If I could do one thing in Steve's memory, at least I could try to save his life. However, no matter how artfully I made the arm in every sense, it refused to work. "This is unacceptable!" Zola yelled at me as I glared at him. I wasn't much of a sight, with my ruined yellow dress and grease stained arms.

"It won't work unless you restore his memories, or at least enough to have his body and mind function together," I replied.

"That makes no sense!"

I gave Zola a hate-filled glare, "James' body has no will. It knows nothing. It is a blank slate for your bidding, but that won't work. His body has no will to try to accept the new arm and move past losing the real one. Bucky needs his memories for this to work, he needs to be himself."

"That is unacceptable!"

"I think that is your favorite word." I deadpanned, but then I was backhanded. I cried out in pain as I was thrown to the ground.

"Guard your tongue woman! He will not serve Hydra if he is James Barnes."

"He needs to be James Barnes for this to even work, he at least needs the basic instincts and base memories for him to function after he accepts the new arm!" I yelled, not noticing what I just said.

"We will restore his memories for the initial attachment, but after that, we will remove all others attached to anything of America," Zola said with distinction. My shoulder slumped forward in defeat as I realized what I said and did.

They immediately set to restoring Bucky's mind, it took a very short time, and the arm was already done. Three days after my argument with Zola Bucky was awake and cussing like a sailor. "I hope you don't talk like that when a lady is around," I said to Bucky as I was escorted in.

"Helena?" Bucky asked in amazement, but he frowned when he saw my appearance. "What did you do to her?!" I was confused until I felt my face, and winced at the bruise from when Zola hit me.

"That will not be the only thing we do to her if you don't stop," Zola said as he pulled out a gun and pointed it at my head. I froze, I guess Bucky as their minion is more valuable than I will be alive as a scheming mechanic.

"Don't touch her!" Bucky said angrily.

"Well, we don't really need her anymore. She did what we wanted so she could help you, and she won't cooperate in anything else. So why keep Helena Stark alive?" Zola said nonchalantly. I closed my eyes as I heard Bucky stop struggling. "Very good, it appears we have a way to control Barnes. Begin the procedure."

Zola let me go and I immediately went to Bucky, "I'm so sorry Mr. Barnes."

Bucky smiled at me, "this is not your fault Helena."

"They gave me a choice, help you live, or let you die. I think this fate is worse than death."

"You could never be responsible for the cost of a life." Bucky admonished me, but then he looked in terror at what they were getting ready. He grabbed my wrist desperately, "don't let me forget everything. Please... I can't handle if I have to face Steve and not be able to remember him."

I bit my lip, "Bucky, Steve is dead."

He looked at me in shock, "no... He can't be gone."

"Bucky, he died years ago," I said helplessly.

"What... How did, why?" Bucky said.

"He died saving America," I said simply.

"We shall begin," Zola said as they grabbed my arms and dragged me away.