Goodbye for now || n.h

Chapter 26

As I've said before, this story is based on a song. And I will reveal which one soon...

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The last couple of days Dakota have been planning her own funeral.

She told me exactly what she wanted it to look like, what kind of food she wanted people to eat after the ceremony and who she wanted to invite. I tried being a good husband and listen, but listening to her talking about her funeral was awful. It's just not right for a 28 year old to plan her own freaking funeral.

Mum had gone back to Mullingar, but we would go down there next week with the kids. Then Dakota wanted to throw a "going away" party in her own honour. She has started to tell people now, and everyone came up to me to tell me how sorry they were. All I could do was smile and thank them.

It was Friday night and the kids were watching cartoons in the living room. We were about to tell them, even though none of them would understand. I mean how do you tell a 5 year old and a 2 year old that their mum won't come back?

Dakota squeezed my hand, took a deep breath before we stepped into the room. I turned off the TV and we sat down in the couch. Dakota took Taylor into her arms; meanwhile Jamie was determined to turn the TV back on. Eventually I had to hold him still.

"Mommy and daddy got something to tell you." Dakota started off, looking at our kids.

The lump in my throat was unbearable.

"It's something big, so I need you to stay quiet until I say you can talk, okay?" She continued, looking mostly at Jamie. He nodded and Taylor just started playing with Dakota's necklace.

"From now on, you will live here only with daddy. I have to leave and... I won't come back. Because I'm sick and the only doctors that can help me are those who are in heaven. They're going to cure me, but once I step through Pearly Gates I can't return. Daddy will take care of you and I need you to promise me to take care of him too, okay? It's only going to be you three living here now and even though I won't be around, you need to brush your teeth and eat your vegetables. Not at the same time." She said with a weak smile, looking at Jamie.

"This doesn't mean mommy don't love you." I said. "She loves you very, very much. But we want her to get better, don't we?"

Jamie nodded. Taylor didn't seem to understand what we were talking about. I wasn't sure Jamie understood either.

"Can't you go to the normal doctor?" Jamie asked. "He's good."

"Mr Parker can only help you when you're sick. This is an incurable sickness."

I gulped and my throat was hurting from the lump that was stuck there.

Jamie then crawled over to her and took her hand.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Are you going to die?"

Dakota looked up at me. Her eyes were glossy and her voice was shaking when she answered:

"I'm going to heaven."

Jamie slowly nodded and his little hand disappeared inside of hers.

"Can I come with you?" He asked.

Dakota let out a small laugh and kissed his head.

"No baby, you need to stay here with daddy and T."

"Okay. But before you leave, can we go to the zoo?"

Once again, Dakota looked up at me.

"Of course." She smiled. "Only if we go to the zoo in Mullingar."