Goodbye for now || n.h

Chapter 27

Two weeks before I turned 28, Dakota passed away.

We tried making so many things together as possible the last couple of weeks. We did some things for the very last time, such as going to the movies and making out like teenagers in the back, went roller skating with the kids along with our closest friends and went to the most expensive restaurant in town. She tried keeping the energy up, even though she was very tired in the end.

Apparently she was suffering from some kind of brain damage, that the doctor's noticed too late. She had major headaches every night when we went to bed and some nights she would even wake up in the middle of the night and just scream. The kids woke up and everything was chaos.

And now she was gone and I was getting ready for her funeral.

Both of our families were out in the living room and I was alone in the bedroom, staring at myself in the full-length mirror. My eyes were lifeless and my skin looked pale. It's been almost a month since I left her at the hospital and I haven't been eating much since then, so my pants were baggy and my jaw were more visible than ever.

Eventually someone knocked on the bedroom door and I mumbled a "come in", not looking away from the mirror for one second.

"Are you ready?" My mum asked quietly.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to say goodbye."

In the corner of my eye I saw her walking over to me.

"I can't believe you're twenty-eight and still don't know how to fix your tie." She said with a chuckle, probably just to ease up the tension.

"She always tied it for me."

Mum gave me a sad smile and helped me with the tie. Then she hugged me, and I had to clench my eyes shut so the tears wouldn't fall out. If I began crying now, I wouldn't be able to stop.

Someone else knocked on the door, and my brother Greg looked in.

"We have to go." He said, sadly smiling.

I sat through the painful funeral with Jamie next to me. Taylor was sitting in dad's lap, playing with a doll I brought to keep her entertained. Jamie kept asking me why there was a picture of his mother next to a big white box. And how the hell am I supposed to tell my five year old that his mother is in the "box", and that she won't wake up?

Then the priest locked eyes with me, telling me to come forward for my speech. Mum squeezed my hand before pulling Jamie onto her lap.

I got up from my seat and slowly walked up to the microphone. The entire church was filled with people and I didn't even know she knew this many. Even Tyson Williams were here, the guy from school who tried to flirt with her several times.

Erin was in the second row, giving me a supporting smile.

I cleared my throat before I began talking.

"As most of you know, Dakota was the love of my life. For nine years she gave me so much happiness and she gave my life meaning. Before her I was completely lost. Didn't know which way to go, or what to do with my life. She helped me find myself."

I glanced at her coffin.

"When I met her for the first time in 9th grade, her name was Dakota Jones. She wore braces and was extremely embarrassed. And even though she barely looked my way during high school, she was the girl of my dreams. God knows how many times I've told her that. I was lucky enough to end up marrying her and start a family with her." I said, looking at the first row to my left where Jamie waved at me.