I simply can't help, just to love you

I LOVE you. And I shouldn't.

GRAYS POV
I stared at the ceiling. The house was quiet, Ur was out of the town and Ultear was at some friend's house.
I felt alone. Left out.
I understood that that was something she needed to sort out on her own.
But it still hurt.
A lot.
I felt, like she couldn't rely on me.
And that pissed me off.

A doorbell rang. I looked at the clock. 1am. Who the hell comes here around this hour, I though going down the stairs, just in the trousers I was sleeping in.
I opened the door.
Juvia's face was red and she was breathing heavily, like if she ran all the way here.
"What are you doing here, at this hour?" I asked her.
"I just had to see you." She said.
"I know that you were there on the roof. When I went down, I noticed a fallen key chain, that could be only yours." She said as she held out a key chain in a form of snow flake. It was from my real mother.
"You didn't say anything." I didn't know what was the meaning behind my words. They just came out.
"I'm sorry. I had to see it, in order to move from my past. Gray, I want to be a better girlfriend. And for that I have to move on. Which is not easy but I'm trying. You deserve a better girlfriend, more special one. I'm still trapped in my past and this was the first step to overcome it. I....." I didn't let her finish, as I came closer, hugging her around her waist and kissed her.
She froze but didn't hesitate to kiss me back.
"You don't have to be a better girlfriend. You are perfect already." I said as we parted. She shook her head. "You still don't know a lot of things from my past. I feel guilty because of that, but it's hard for me to say it." "I understand it's hard." I said bringing her closer to me. I could feel her heart pumping against my bare chest. "I don't want you to rush things. When you will be prepared, I'll be there for you, and listen to whatever you have to say. Until then, I'm alright. But please," I said, a bit happy nobody but her hears the words, that would ruin my face. ", rely on me more." Juvia took my face in her hands. "What did I do to have you as my boyfriend?" She asked. I gave her a small peck on her lips. "You are simply amazing." "Want to go inside. It's quite cold." I said. "Yes. Oh God, you don't have a shirt on. I'm so sorry." Juvia said as she closed the door behind her. "I'll make you a tea, can I? Where do you have kitchen?" She asked looking around. Gosh, she is so cute.
I hugged her. "You don't have to. You'll just have to warm me up other way." She blushed. "What about your adoptive mom and sister?" She whispered. I smirked against her skin on her neck. "It's just me and you."

*this next part will contain a few more sexual parts. No sex, not yet that's planned a bit later,
just if you are kid or can't handle it, you can skip to next chapter. It will though, also contain few important confessions. Anyways,
moving on.*

I pushed Juvia on my bed. I positioned myself on top of her, simply staring at her. She giggled. "What?" She asked. "It feels like a dream." I said looking at her. "What does?" She asked shyly. "Having you on my bed in my room." I said. Her cheeks turned red.
I gently kissed her pulling her jacket over her head. She then sat up to put her shirt down. I pulled it over her head, relieving her blue bra. She was breathing heavily, even though I saw her like this a few times already.
I kissed her on her neck, while patting her bare back. She still wasn't used to the naked touch of our bodies, and I didn't want to rush things with her. Even though, it was harder by the day, to control myself around her.

JUVIAS POV
His lips were leaving a trial of kisses down my neck. My breathing became harder with every single one. I couldn't get used to his touch. I loved it, but I was still nervous.
Her placed me back on my back and sucked a sweet spot on my neck, making me moan in delight. He looked at me. His eyes were full of hunger but also love. He wanted me, but knew,
I wasn't prepared yet. He controlled himself, because he liked me. I loved him for that even more.
I arched my back opening my bra. He looked at me surprised as I did it, but quickly got out of it. I wanted to thank him at least a bit.
He slid my bra from my hands and let it fall on the floor. I was laying under him, my upper part exposed. He was just looking at me, and I couldn't help but to cover myself. "Don't do that." Gray took my hands in his and pinned them next to me head. "Don't hide yourself. You are beautiful." I could feel my cheeks growing redder, if that was even possible.
He brought himself closer to me bare chest and licked the valley between my breasts, sending shiver up from down. He let go of one of my hands, stroking gently one of my breasts. I couldn't help but to moan quietly from the movements of his fingers. When his thumb, brushed one of my nipples, a louder moan escaped my lips and Gray smirked. Her kissed me, swallowing my moans as he continued to play with my breasts. I arched my back from the delight, and he licked my lower lip, begging for an opening. I gave it to him and our tongues swirled together.
Our kisses became more heated and passionate, until we parted and I gasped for air. Gray lowered himself to my chest again, this time gently circling around my breasts with his tongue and I bit my clenched fist, in order to not let noise out. He noticed it and pinned my hand again next to my head.
"Don't do that." He said looking deeply into my eyes. "I want to hear you moan. I am the only one that can hear you moan." He gently kissed me and went back to my chest, continuing what he was doing before. This time I couldn't stop loud moans escaping my mouth and I could feel Gray smile against my skin. He gently took one of my nipples to his mouth gently sucking it. A wave of pleasure went through my body, and I moaned, arching my back. My hands were pinned down by Gray, and my feet were under him, making it impossible for me to run away or even more. Not that I would ever want to. It just felt like Gray had to make sure, that I'm still his. And I was going to make sure, he knows it.
He stopped and pulled me into a seating position. I swang my legs around his bare waist. He gently hugged me, pressing his head into my neck. I could feel his bare chest against mine, and I breathed heavily again. He slowly got up, stroking my cheek. "God, you are the most beautiful thing I ever saw." I rested my face on his shoulder, so he couldn't see my blushing, from his words. "It may be a bit soon for it, but I love you Juvia." I heard him say.
He loves me.
"You don't have to say it back. I just,.... had to say it. I know we are dating only for two moths, but I guess I loved you for a longer time. You captivated me." He chuckled awkwardly. I sat up looking into his eyes.
He loves me.
I giggled and he gave me a confused look.
"Oh God Gray!" I almost screamed and he looked at me even more confused as I grabbed his cheeks in my hands.
"I know I shouldn't. I know that my life was a mess and it's going to be even a bigger one. I know that I'm good for nothing idiot, who can't get over her past. I know that you deserve a lot better. I know that you'll maybe regret it someday. And I also know, I love you as well."
We sat there in silence for a few moments. He slowly covered one of my hands on his cheek with his own. "I will never regret loving you." He said. I could feel tear forming in my eye. "Gray...." he gently wiped it away. He layed me down next to him. I was resting my head on his hand and he was hugging me around my waist, as he was gently stroking my hair.
I shouldn't, but I can't stop myself, from loving him. With my whole heart.