Meet You Again

Chapter Seven

He lied in bed, eyes hazy and body numb.

I’m sorry.

John had came round at least twice within the last week and called eight times that, leaving voicemails that sounded haste and panicked and hurt as he repeatedly asked Sherlock to Please, just answer. We need to talk, Sherlock. Please.

But he couldn’t. No, he’d mess things up much more terribly than he had first believed.

It only took Sherlock an hour after he told John to leave (forever, go. Get out of my flat) that he had been terribly wrong about the situation altogether.

He. Had. Been. Wrong.

And now, instead of protecting his heart, he had broken that of one John Watson, the one who never deserved to have a heart as warm and caring as his broken in such a way because Sherlock Holmes was afraid.

I’m sorry.

Of course, he hadn’t told John this. He couldn’t tell John this. Every phone call or text message or knock on the door added another lash to Sherlock’s own stupidity and he could not bring himself to go out there, grab John Watson by his front collar and tell him how sorry he was and why he was and how he’d never tell him to leave again and perhaps kiss him over and over-

A soft chime from his mobile brought him from his thoughts and everything just seemed to stop as he turned and stared at the table, the faint vibrating noise emitting from the small device.

He’s calling again. He’s calling, but I...I can’t. I’m so sorry.

The ringing was persistent, louder now and filling the otherwise quiet room and Sherlock could bring himself to even turn the thing off.

John.

And eventually, like always, the chiming died, phone beeping to indicated what most likely was another voice mail ( one he’d listen to over and over again until his ears were practically throbbing with the sound of John) and he just stared and stared. Fingers twitch, breath uneven and he just stare.

I can’t. I’m sorry.

***

“Sherlock, dear?”

He didn’t react to another voice in the room, curled on his side, phone in hand as it played John’s voice message over and over.

Listen, Sherlock. Seriously. I don’t know what happened that day or why, but, Jesus, please pick up and call me. Or text. I know you prefer to text. Just...anything, Sherlock…...I can’t….I don’t want to end this, our….please, Sherlock, please. We can talk this out or not or whatever just, please contact me. Sherlock, I-

His voice cut off, the message reaching its max and Sherlock hit ‘one’ again, just to listen to his voice again.

“Sherlock.” he felt Mrs. Hudson’s presence in the doorway, heard her worry and ignored it all together.

Listen, Sherlock. Seriously. I don’t know what happened that day or why, but, Jesus, please pick up and call me-

“Love, I have tea and biscuits.” her voice was soothing, but that wasn’t the voice he wanted to hear.

Just...anything, Sherlock…...I can’t….I don’t want to end this, our-

“Have you spoken to him at all?” she kept talking and she was drowning out the sound of John.

We can talk this out or not or whatever just, please contact me. Sherlock, I-

“He came by the other day. John. He was...asking for you, Sherlock.” he felt her hand on his bare shoulder and jerked away from the touch. “He looked worried. You should call him. He seemed really good for you, Sherlock-”

That was enough. He sat up swiftly, causing Mrs. Hudson to jump, and glared at her pointedly. “You don’t know what’s good for me.” he snarled, ignoring the sudden burn behind his lashes. “You don’t and he can...he can leave me alone. I don’t need him...I don’t…” whatever aggression and rage he held before left him all too fast, causing his face to crumble in tears. “I don’t know what to do.”

The tears physically burned and the choked sobs ripping from his throat made him sore and his body shuddered against the onslaught of emotions and guilt. “I don’t…”

Mrs. Hudson was surprisingly warm and soft, small, short arms barely winding around his shoulders as she drew him closer and he could nothing more than collapse against her and sob.

I’m so sorry.

***

((A/N: Have some angst!!! It's short, sorry!))