Boy in Luv | jjk ; pjm

Dos

Jimin

Currently I am in holidays and I was having breakfast while watching a movie on TV. I was felling bored; my mother was outside greeting some new neighbors and my dad was at work. I stood up and walked towards my room. These weeks have been like this, waking up, having a shower, having breakfast and going to my room. I don't go to school since a year ago. I have a personal teacher which I like a lot, he is funny and kind, sometimes I wonder what would it be if we both fall in love. But I took that idea out because he is older than me for ten years, and I don't want a daddy sugar.

Having a life without school was hard. I miss my friends, I really miss them, but sometimes I want to throw a punch to one of them for doing this to me, for leaving me alone. I was diagnosticated with depression a month ago, and I wasn't surprised, really. My mother has been clingy over me for these weeks, and I don't blame her, depressed people do stupid things. [If you suffer from depression, sorry for this comment. But I related to this, you know, self-harm and that stuff. I mean, I suffer from clinical depression, so...] Sometimes I remember those days where I was loved by everyone in school, and people treated me so well. It was like a story, and now, I still couldn't believe it.

School. That simple word makes me want to throw up, but at the same time make me cry because of happiness. I am a 'clever person', you know, in short words... a nerd. But a cool one, thanks mom. My QI is 150, so in a few words, I am good in everything that relates to mathematics, because that is what I do best. Numbers are my life, and I enjoy every second of my homework. My personal teacher, Chung-hee-ssi, always compliments me for my potential and reminds me of all those people who claimed to be my 'friends'.

My ex-school always had contests between the students, I didn't know that I was a brilliant person, until winning these contests became a hobby. I win towards freshmen, sophomores, juniors and even seniors. The principal was really happy with me, I was transferred to the senior classes, and some of them hate me but the majority said that I was going to make the school win a contest that was going to be between my ex-school and our enemy, Seul school.

While I was there, people always complimented me. They were kind and gentle with me, it was a like a dream, for a moment a thought they were going to bully me for being a nerd, but everyone took it well. My mom was proud of me, my teachers, the principal... my friends. I was living a dream. A big one.

With everything going on, everyone was pushing me to study more, the contest was arriving, and I had to win or everyone will be dissapointed. Two weeks before everything sarted, I was relaxing for a couple of minutes, and a message popped in my phone. It was an unknow person, but with the days going on we made friends. His name was Kim Namjoom and he was from the Seoul school, he seemed to be a cool and a smart guy, so I didn't stop myself to be friends with him. It was my secret.

Sometimes we studied together, we met at a certain place and hide from everyone; we will be more interested in ourselves than the questions on the paper. Namjoom was funny, he was a Junior while I was a freshman, he was surprised to know that I was 15 back then. We made a promise, we told ourselves that we were going to win and maybe we could do a tie. *wink*

But, I didn't know, in reality, what kind of person Kim Namjoom was, so I didn't expect to follow him through the corridors of my ex-school, when the contest was about to start. And without a warning I was locked in the bathroom, Namjoom told me he was going to get someone, but when a half a hour past, I gave up. I cried until my head started to hurt.

I was an idiot.

I disappointed my school.

Kim Namjoom won, and I loose.

Rumors said that I locked myself in the bathroom because I made a deal with Namjoom and in that way, he could win easily.

I tried to tell the truth, but no one made an effort to listen to me.

My classmates didn't look at me anymore.

The compliments faded in the air.

I was the stupid nerd.

I was the coward one.

My friends didn't talk to me.

Mr. Kwan, my math teacher, was absent for a couple of days. He made me a 'super-star' in my school, he made an effort to tell the principal the genius I was. And people blame me because Mr. Kwan was sad during his lessons. I was like a son for him, and I understood his pain.

And before the school kicked me out, I left.

Without saying goodbye, and without a warning.

And my friends didn't look for me after, and I knew that I was into deep.

It wasn't my fault, but I fall into Kim Namjoom's trap.

—Park Jimin, could you, please, change your clothes. —my mom said and I opened my eyes. I took a nap, a short one, I'm sure.

—Why? —I yawned. I stretched my arms like a cat.

—Park Jimin, you have to teach a student, today. —she added. —It's six twenty.

—What?

—Mr. Jeon's son. He talked to you yesterday on the phone, darling. —my mother laughed at my silliness. I smiled.

—Oh, yeah... I remember now.

—Now, go and take a shower. —she said and left my room.

Mr. Jeon was a workmate of my dad, they were always together, and it seems that my father told him about me. Which ended up calling me at midnight because his son was a failure in Mathematic and he was desperated because he really wants his son to pass the final exam. I agreed with him, and I need to be at his house at 7 o'clock.

I took a shower, and changed in some clothes. A big sweater, I really like those, and skinny jeans. I took my backpack and said goodbye to my parents. They were proud of me, even though a ended up with depression and low self-esteem problems, they really care for me and I am really grateful for that. Mr. Jeon's house was near mine, so I just walked. I felt nervous, I always feel nervous because I am going to meet someone new, and my brain can't stand that. And I get it, maybe these bad thoughts will go away some day, but for now... I think it's impossible.

[Sorry of there's a mistake. English is not my first language]