Cigarettes and Ashes

• sïx

• sïx

patrick. courtney. ashley. stephen. kirsten. neil.

langdon hadn't lied. i would have no friends when i got back now. and after the breakup with him, pretty sure no one will care to glance at me now.

i'll probably never go to school again anyways.

– • –

as if my intentions of not returning to school is written on my forehead, my uncle calls a house meeting, and tells me i need to get back on track with my life.

"your finals are in a week naomi." he says, calmly. "im just asking you to give your exams, that's it. im not expecting you to pass with flying colours."

"please let me skip this year." i beg him, my hands shaking already.

"you'll have to repeat the same year next year then darling. you're so smart naomi, you don't want to be getting behind in life now do you? don't you want a better future?"

"i do. i want one so badly uncle. but you need to understand, i can not concentrate on studies now. i just can't."

"which is why we don't expect excellent grades naomi." he says. he takes ahold of my hand, and kian touches my shoulder, a somber expression on his face upon seeing me cry. i smile a little at him through my glassy eyes. "you have been mourning for the past two months now honey. it's time you move on. it's what your mother would've wanted."

my mother is not here, she wouldn't know how i'm feeling. she wouldn't know what she would want. and what i want. people take ages to get over someone's death. and i'm being pressurised to fucking move on after seven weeks.

"ill go." i whisper. my uncle smiles a little, and pats my head lightly and murmurs something about 'whats best for me'

but instead of paying attention to him, my head comes up with one of the worst decisions i've ever taken.