Unspoken Poetry

pleading, hurting, begging

maybe tonight will be the night i find solace in my loneliness of my little abode you always thought i should paint.

"white walls are depressing, baby, let paint them yellow, and they will shine as bright as the sun."

but yellow walls weren't what it took to make the walls shine for us. walls were merely an extra in the script that was laid out for us to read. you were the hero in our screenplay, with me being the antagonist that you tried to love and change. but you tried and tried until you burned out.

i smoldered in your flames and suffocated on the ashes

maybe tonight will be the night i stop painting the photos of our war. would the guns stop pointing at me as i weak in regret? im growing tired of blame, but i know you weren't at fault.

i surrender, baby, i hold my hands up in defeat and i hope you can see my white flag waving in this dust bowl, take me back, my love.

come back to me, damnit. im sinning im anguish. i'll go anywhere you want me to. im stepping aside and i'm giving you the controls. you are the worth of my life. you are the previous moments and the precious metals that are welded together to make my worth.

you know that i would never throw my independence out the window, but i don't want that anymore. i now depend on you, my love, just as you depended on me.

you're in my lungs; i breathe you in and never breathe out because i want to keep you as long as i can. i'll curl up and fiebas long as i can have you flowing through my veins.

im pleading and i can not seem to scratch this god damn yellow paint off the walls. please, unring the bells and unsound the alarms. i want you, only you and nothing more.

just notice me once more. im not making any sense in these pointless words, darling, but i don't care, i just want you back.
please come back to me.