The Black Parade

3. This is How I Disappear

I quickly learned that this is not the city where I died. The hospital may have had the same layout as the other, but everything else is different entirely. I had walked the streets, searching around for the house that I had lived in, but I couldn't find it. Nothing was the same. Everything was grey and dreary and different. I had knocked on every house in sight, trying to find some kind of help, some other sign of life besides myself and the thing at the hospital. Maybe everyone is supposed to give themselves up to the creature at the hospital, but it's too late now. Not like I could find my way back there, anyway.

Now I'm roaming the streets, looking for something, anything. I haven't found anything of interest, just empty buildings upon empty buildings. I pause in front of one of many dull grey buildings, leaning against the surface. All I see is grey, black, and white. Although my death doesn't seem to have happened more than 12 hours ago, I'm tired of the dull, somber colors. I feel as if I'm in hell. Boring is just as scary as the deepest depths of hell that you could imagine.

I walk for what feels like hours, but may be just a few minutes. I have yet to find a clock, and I was never good at telling how much time passed. Maybe I should look for a pen and paper, do something useful for eternity.

I try the door on the building that I was leaning on, and it opens easily. When I enter, it's all I thought it to be. There were shelves upon shelves of nothing, and a white desk by the door. Upon further inspection, I see a door almost invisible in the back of the room. I slowly navigate my way through the maze of bare shelves to the door. I turn the knob and it opens easily, revealing another white room. The difference is black writing on the wall.

No memories. No color. No feeling. Save Yourself. I freeze. No memories? I could've sworn I had some, I've been recalling what has happened at the hospital, but... The faces from the hospital flash through my mind, no names coming up along with them. I try hard to remember anything, but nothing, not even the city, comes up anymore. Everything is blank, it's like a nightmare. Amnesia, permanent, with no way of getting anything but white in return. What did I even like before? What was I interested in? Did I have anyone close? Who was I? The room starts spinning, white over white with a hint of black. I fall to my knees in the doorway, clutching my head. The words repeat over and over in my head. No memories. No colors. Just white, grey and black everywhere I look. I shut my eyes tightly, but even the color that used to bounce around behind my eyelids are now just different shades of grey. The only memory of what once was. Save yourself. I get up, unsteady at first, before bolting out the door, not daring to look anywhere but what's ahead. I dash out of the building, into the completely empty streets. I stop in the middle of the road, breathing heavily. I feel a sharp pain behind my eyes, and then everything is black. There's still no color.