The Battles of Depression

To Weak

  You ask me why am I so tired? Why do I always look so mad or sad when you catch me staring at nothing? Why do I always lie when im asked what's wrong? ....... Why do you care?
   I'm tired because everything hurts. I always look mad or sad because when im lost in my thoughts all I can think about is all the problems ahead of me or the ones that are behind me but still affect me. I always lie because I know you won't understand.
   All my life, I was nothing but a lie. Every smile, every laugh I knew that it would last only a moment until relaity struck. Never knowing who to trust because I can't even trust myself. I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. Every cornor, every crack was just a blur so nothing I saw made sense. When you try so hard to push all the negative out because all the doctors tell you to but you just can't. I always ask myself why but I just can't wrap my brain around it because all the black won't let me. How can you fix yourself when it won't let you? And you... why do you care? Do all you want is a story to tell, to take pity on me and pretend you have a sob story to match?  Or do you want to actually understand and help me? Now a days you can never know. There is becoming more bad than there is good. What will you do when that bad is all we have left? Fight it? Or cowar when you realise that it is more than you can handle? Let me tell you... it's not easy when all you have is the bad. No matter how hard you try it will always be there but yet you still must keeo fighting because to give up means letting it consume you.