I read these stories over and over, I know most of them by heart but I still love to read them, it's something i made, something that reminds me of you. I'm sitting here in the middle of winter reading the stories and I long for those times again, times I can be with you a lot, when it was summer and I could stay late, when it was warm and we could sit and look at the stars. When we could make up a perfect kiss that I get nostalgic for even though it didn't happen like that. I miss the times when everything was warmer and happier and simpler. I miss how the beginning felt. Maybe I miss it because my time with you felt longer, maybe I just miss the warm, maybe I miss the happiness that I had. It was the calm in my life before the storm of sadness. You're the eye of the hurricane, the happiness in the sad. After just one year happiness feels different, it doesn't feel as fulfilling as it used to be. It just gets swallowed by the sadness, by the tears and the naps. I miss the days where I could go a week without being sad. I miss when I could go for a walk and talk to people, when I could go to the park and we could all have fun being idiots. I'm tired of being stuck inside, I'm ready for summer, for school to end, for it to be warm. I'm ready for freedom and ice cream and late nights with you again. I'm ready to sit outside late at night with a hoodie and look at the stars. I'm ready for happiness, for being a year closer to always being with you.
