runaway - kim dongyoung

epilogue [part one]

mina's pov
—

i stared out of the window, watching the rain fall and the wind blow the trees. i leaned against the window and let out a long sigh.

i closed my eyes, trying to forget doyoung, but it was hopeless. he was all that was on my mind all day, every day. i missed him more than anything else i had ever lost. i begged my father to let me stay in seoul. i screamed and cried but he didn't seem to care.

my father had grown angry and irritated recently because of me so i decided to keep quiet about everything for the time being. i've been stuck at home for over five months now. five months without doyoung. five months without happiness.

i tried everything i could to forget doyoung. i even changed my hair color again. it was no longer the lilac color that he loved so much. it was now an icy blue color.

i stood from the seat next to the window and pulled the small box out from under my bed. it was filled with letters, poems, and pictures. i meant to send them to doyoung but my parents wouldn't let me have any contact with anyone from seoul. i wasn't even allowed to leave my house.

i wanted nothing more than to send these letters to doyoung so that he can understand what happened. there were even a few letters set aside for kun. i always felt the need to contact doyoung but i was afraid. afraid that he had forgotten me already.

the thought of him not caring about me or him moving on has stopped me from calling. i knew that him moving on would be for the best but i didn't want that to happen. i was selfish.

after ridding my head of these thoughts, i grabbed a single piece of paper along with a pen from my desk. if i couldn't call him, the least i could do was write a letter to explain everything. that way, he wouldn't have to answer if he didn't want to.

dear kim dongyoung,

i'm not sure if you even remember me. it's been a while since we last saw each other. 9 months, right? it feels like an eternity.

honestly, being away from you has been killing me. my head hurts from thinking about you all day and my heart aches. all i need is you by my side. i miss you so much, doyoung.

i dyed my hair a different color. it's pink now.

life has been a living hell for me but that's nothing new. i haven't left my house even once since my parents brought me back here. they're afraid i'll run away again. i miss having my freedom, even if i only had it for a short period.

you've probably stopped reading this already but there are so many things on my mind so i'm going to keep writing. i have several questions for you.

did you really love me?

do you remember me and all of the moments that we shared?

am i just a memory or do you think about me as often as i think about you?

you don't have to answer. i don't want this letter to make you feel uncomfortable but i want you to know that i love you. you're my everything. remember when you drew me? i still have it. i've framed it and put it on my wall.

did you keep the poem that i wrote for you?

i hope you're okay. tell kun i said hello and i miss him, almost as much as i miss you. i'll try to visit you one day but i can't know for sure how far into the future that will be. i hope it's soon.

goodbye for now, kim dongyoung.

love, liang x

as i finished the letter, i picked it up and crumpled it in my hands. i wiped my face as the tears kept coming and put the letter aside.

"shit," i whispered once i realized what i had done to the letter.

i quickly smoothened the paper as well as i could with my hands. once it looked decent enough, i quickly wrote the address and hoped that he still lived in that abandoned book store.

i picked myself up and opened my bedroom door to see if the hall was empty. my parents were nowhere to be seen but as i was about to leave, i spotted one of the housemaids coming around the corner. as soon as she noticed me, i waved her over.

"aisha," i whispered her name as i continued to wave her over.

she quickly made her way to my side and quietly said, "yes, miss liang?"

"please mail this letter immediately," i said as i handed the letter to her.

"but your parents have asked me to not allow you to communicate with anyone outside of the house," she replied.

"please, aisha. i only want to clear up some things with an old friend," i begged.

aisha stood there for a moment, wondering if she should disobey my parents and go through with what i asked of her. after some time, she closed her eyes and nodded before turning and walking back down the hallway.

"i hope you get my letter, doyoung," i say to myself as i go back into my bedroom.